[Beautiful_Pain]

I'm just trying to see what comes out when I try to post about this stuff...

The memory that has been coming up for me is of my uncle. I was 8, and my mom and aunt were home, my cousin and her mom were over visiting. My younger brother was also home (though it is really my cousin--my uncle in question's son--will have to explain family dynamics at some point. But I digress). My uncle came home drunk (at least...and I found this out when I was older--I didn't know at the time) with a rifle. He was all pissed off, he just came barging into the house yelling and screaming. My mom screamed for us to go outside and hide. The last thing I heard before slamming the door is my uncle saying he is going to shoot my mom, aunt and my cousin's mom. =( We kids ran and hid in a car. We stayed out there for 1/2 hour or so...all we could hear was shouting coming from the house...screaming and the like. I remember being on the passenger side of the floorboards and the feeling of the grooves of the mat beneath my knees. The sound of my mom screaming and yelling--I could tell she was crying and scared...but also mad. We knelt, and wondered among ourselves what was going on. (come to think of it...i couldn't have been 8, my sisters weren't born yet. I was 7 at the oldest). We went silent at the sound of the rifle going off, and seconds later another shot rang out. Then my uncle screaming in rage. No sounds from any of the females in the house. So scared, I tried not to picture my mom lying dead. I couldn't help it, and with the second shot, tried not to picture my aunt lying dead and couldn't help that either. We stayed in the car, scared. None of us could or wanted to get out and get shot too. Soon a police car showed up, and my uncle was led out in hand cuffs. I don't remember getting out of the car or seeing my mom and aunt telling us to come out or if they did. I blank out after that, I can't remember the rest. I just know, now, what happened. That he took a wooden stool and hit my mom on the head and back or chest...and also my aunt. He had the gun pointed at my mom and my aunt was trying to take the gun away, he pulled the trigger and the bullet went through the ceiling. He pulled it again and it went into the wall. My cousin's mom meanwhile called the police. Everyone was ok...just traumatized.

Well, there is one of my early childhood memories

[Mystry]

(((Beautiful Pain))) thankyou for sharing a part of you...

(((((((((((((((BP))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry you went through all that.

[Lexicon78]

I'm sorry you had to endure all that pain.

Hang in there and be kind to yourself.

[Hopefull]

My God. That must have been so frightening.

[Beautiful_Pain]

{{{{{mystry}}}}} Thank you for listening

{{{{{esther}}}}}

{{{{{lexi}}}}} I try =)

{{{{{hopefull}}}}} It was, I remember the terror, but oddly not the relief?

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{))Beautiful Pain((}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I can't imagine going through something like that! Yep, you need to reclaim and champion that little girl, BP. Love her as if she was your own... which she really is.

Love you!

[hillbunnyb]

OK BP, that was scarey enough for chapter 1. I don't remember time after traumas either...... I think my brain just fries getting through the kaka then passes out once it's safe or something.... guns and alcohol: two of my favorites, NOT. I'm so glad you're a surivor.

[Beautiful_Pain]

{{{{{{tomi}}}}}} Yep perhaps this is why my little girl is hiding =/ I bought some clay at the store last night...played with it a bit last night. The clay is bakeable, so if I somehow come up with something cool I can even keep it =D

[Beautiful_Pain]

}}}}}}bunny{{{{{{ That's weird how the brain remembers the bad and small details and then shuts off during the good, relief part of the 'story'. =/ Don't worry it will probably be a bit before another story...none are coming to me currently, so *shrugs* I guess I wait.