My dad Will be Arrested soon

Remember me telling you all a few weeks back that I found out that my dad has now sexually abused my cousin and she was going to report him the police?

This morning my cousin's mum phoned me to tell me that they have been the police and are taking this very seriously, My cousin has gave a brief statement and needs to go back when they contact her again which will be very soon, So it look's like my dad will be arrested soon.

Thats great news!!!

Hope it goes well

I'm sorry so much is going on buttercup, how do you feel about this? It must be at least strange for you to be dealing with this... I wish you all the best! You and your family are in my thoughts as you deal with such a aweful situation that never should have happened to begin with, guilty or not... Nothing a daughter should have to cope with or live with. All the best to you and your family.

I don't know what to write here. I don't know how you feel and that is the only important thing here!!!

Take care of you................

Putting myself in your shoes, Buttercup, I might have mixed feelings. Any time someone is sanctioned for abusing a child nowadays, I am glad to see it happen. I want children to be protected. Yet there is still this little voice inside me, asking, "Why didn't anyone protect ME?" I'm only saying this so that you realize, if you feel those mixed feelings, it's perfectly normal. Whatever feelings are there, it's OK. You can be glad it's being dealt with. You can be embarrassed. You can be resentful because people weren't there for you but are protecting someone else. You can feel anything. Or even nothing, for a while.

Well at first I was glad but thinking about it I am terrified, My cousin asked me yesterday would I give evidence, I said yes, It was going round and round in my head all day, I have given evidence before against my brother and was made to feel like the abuser, Anyway last night I was suicidal and took enough pills to knock me out, I wanted to blank this out just for a short while, I slept most of the day.

I feel stuck.

Only the police and prosecutor know if they will need your testimony. They might not??

I think it will be very brave of you to assist your cousin, but you are not in any way obligated to. You have to do what is safe and best for you. I hope the outcome will be something you can feel good about. Take care of yourself.

Assisting the Police in thier enquiries is always going to help, saying that, it won't be easy.
Depending what happens in terms of charges brought against him, and whether he pleas guilty or not guilty, will dictate if you have to appear in court to give evidence.
It'll help if I explain the process (sorry if you already know)
1) The Police will build a case file, which contains evidence. This involves statements, officers notes, intelligence, past convictions, etc.
2) Your dad may or may not be released on bail, or conditional bail.
3) This "case file" is then passed the to Crown Prosecution Service who will review the case and decide if it is in the public interest to continue (More than likely yes in this case)
4) Your dad will be given a date to appear in court to answer the charges made against him, he can plea guilty or not guilty.
5) If he please guilty then no further parties are likely to be questioned, and he will subsequently be charged.
5 pt 2) If he please guilty then all parties giving evidence (victims and witnesses) will go and provide evidence in the court.

Long winded process I know..

The Police may or may not ask for a statement, i don't know as I'm not the Officer In Charge. They will make that decision. However you can always supply a statement which will then be taken into consideration.

Important thing to remember, you are NOT obliged in any way shape or form to provide any evidence if you do not want to, regardless of how much the Police try and persuade you.

Get in touch with the Victim support unit, the police can provide you with their number. ( I found them very helpful)

Good luck with whatever path you choose and I hope all is well.

Alex

I know what you mean about being made to feel like you're the abuser, when you testify against family. I once called the police on my brother because he was beating his wife right there in my living room, and I wasn't going to have it. While he sat in jail, my family's response was pretty much, "So are you proud of yourself?" It galls me to think that my lack of "loyalty" was more shocking and unacceptable to them than the fact that he was beating his wife.