[granite1]

i and my family have laughed over this story for years.and do to the fact that the mother is coming to stay with me over Christmas it is one of the many stories running around in the forefront of my mind.although i can find it humerus on the surface if you look at the depravity of it it is just not all that funny i guess

one of the ways the mother would punish me was to beat me with wooden spoons. i would be covered with black and blues and often times she wouldn't stop until the wooden spoon would break. eventually leaving us without wooden spoons to cook with

now Christmas was alway an OK time in my house for the most part.it could be fun.every yeas my step dad would give me a small amount of money to buy gifts for the mother and we would go shopping for her.it was an amazing tradition to have every year spending this time with my step dad who i was very close to.it didn't matter that it was buying presents for the mother.it was a special time for me and one of the few times i looked forward to.

so every year the mother would give my step dad her list of what she wanted for Christmas and we would venture off to buy everything on the list.
one more thing every year i would ask the mother what she wanted from me for Christmas and every year she would say WOODEN SPOONS

every year i would buy her as many wooden spoons as the money my step dad gave me could afford,i would wrap them up and very proudly give them to her for Christmas.with all the expectations of approval a child could have for buying this parent the most perfect and special gift.

it wasn't until a few years later and i was older and asked her what she wanted for Christmas that it hit me like a ton of bricks and i said to her anything but wooden spoons.for years after this it was a family joke how i would always buy wooden spoons.in a way it was funny at the time

now as i look back on this situation it didn't seem all that big of a deal and maybe i am making it bigger than it should be now but can you imagine?
just imagine the depravity of a woman who convinces her young child to buy her own tools for punishment. what kind of person does this and finds it humerus.every year i willingly and proudly bought those things so she could beat me quite badly with them and now it doesn't seem so funny anymore

[Sannah]

[granite1]

Originally Posted by Sannah

thanks for hearing me sannah

[unaluna]

OMG granite - we have a wooden spoon story in our family too, about my mother breaking one over my brother's head. It wasn't until many years later that he finally spoke up about how maybe THAT part of the story, that it was HIS HEAD, was not cool. That maybe we shouldn't be laughing about how hard his head was that it broke the spoon. When I was living with my mom 5 years or so ago, I bought her a new big beautiful thick wooden spoon, and I have one too. But you're right - I bet it is a bittersweet symbol of food equals love AND of abuse in many families.

[Elli-Beth]

Ours was a bi metal one. My brother and I called it The Spanking Spoon.

[lynn P.]

(((granite1)) - thanks for sharing your story and I agree it shouldn't be looked at lightly. If your mom became old and in a nursing home I'm sure she wouldn't find someone hitting her with a spoon funny at all. I never hit my kids because all it teaches them is fear and how to dodge.

[dragonfly2]

My mom reached for the wooden spoons too. One time I actually gathered them all up and hid them on her! I think she just bought some new ones. We also had those giant wooden utensil decorations on our kitchen wall and she would half-jokingly threaten to hit me with the giant spoon. I wasn't amused.

[suzzie]

dont see how that could ever be funny.

[RubenRawr]

My dad does that stuff too, with whatever is closest sometimes or sometimes he makes us get something and give it to him so he can hit us with it.
But since i'm in the hospital a lot now cause i'm sick he can't do it as much cause other people being able to see it otherwise, when i have to take my shirt off or something. So he beats my brother mostly but he does other stuff to me

[Sannah]

Reuben, maybe you should tell someone in the hospital about the beatings and abuse?

[mgran]

Wow, I'm so sorry.

In my family it was garden canes. One time my brother broke them all. (I tried to stop him, I was the sissy, and I was afraid he'd get beaten black and blue.) My Dad then took us both, dragged us to Woolworth's, and showed us where the canes were, and bought a bunch. He told my brother it didn't matter how many sticks he broke, there'd always be a new one.

Well, when Woolworths finally shut down because of the recession my brother completely astonished his wife by shouting "woohoo!" what about all the people who lost their jobs, she asked. he had to explain about the garden canes... I think she was surprised. she finds it hard to believe anything bad about my Dad. She knows the stories of our childhood are true, but he's changed so much that it's hard for her to marry the picture of our childhood with what she sees now.

My Dad took himself to anger management of his own volition, and it's actually worked. Wish he'd done it when we were younger, but you've got to respect the fact that he saw his problem and got the help he needed. People can change... just many choose not to.

[Luce]

Nope. That wasn't right or okay at all. I can understand the little child just wanting to make the mom happy, though... because if she is *happy*, she won't be angry, and if she isn't angry then she won't beat you, right?
That poor kid that was you just didn't want to be beat at all.

I have a wooden spoon story. When I was 19 my SIL and my 3 year old niece visited my home (I lived on my own). My niece had done something to anger my SIL, and my SIL went to MY kitchen to get MY wooden spoon and was about to beat my niece with it.
I grabbed the spoon from her hand and said "My wooden spoon will not be used for hurting children. You can not hurt children at my house."

She didn't hurt my niece at my house that day (or any other day) but I don't know what happened when they got home.

Spoons are used for cooking and eating. Nothing else.

[unaluna]

Good for you, Luce. Your SIL is out of her mind to even try to use your spoon. She was trying to make you complicit. That is disgusting.

[granite1]

Originally Posted by Luce

Nope. That wasn't right or okay at all. I can understand the little child just wanting to make the mom happy, though... because if she is *happy*, she won't be angry, and if she isn't angry then she won't beat you, right?
That poor kid that was you just didn't want to be beat at all.

I have a wooden spoon story. When I was 19 my SIL and my 3 year old niece visited my home (I lived on my own). My niece had done something to anger my SIL, and my SIL went to MY kitchen to get MY wooden spoon and was about to beat my niece with it.
I grabbed the spoon from her hand and said "My wooden spoon will not be used for hurting children. You can not hurt children at my house."

She didn't hurt my niece at my house that day (or any other day) but I don't know what happened when they got home.

Spoons are used for cooking and eating. Nothing else.

amazingthank you for being able to speak up.it makes me wonder what your SIL had to deal with to accually think that any of this was ok and that it is common place to beat children with wooden spoons.i love your wooden spoons are to cook with

[granite1]

Originally Posted by mgran

Wow, I'm so sorry.

In my family it was garden canes. One time my brother broke them all. (I tried to stop him, I was the sissy, and I was afraid he'd get beaten black and blue.) My Dad then took us both, dragged us to Woolworth's, and showed us where the canes were, and bought a bunch. He told my brother it didn't matter how many sticks he broke, there'd always be a new one.

Well, when Woolworths finally shut down because of the recession my brother completely astonished his wife by shouting "woohoo!" what about all the people who lost their jobs, she asked. he had to explain about the garden canes... I think she was surprised. she finds it hard to believe anything bad about my Dad. She knows the stories of our childhood are true, but he's changed so much that it's hard for her to marry the picture of our childhood with what she sees now.

My Dad took himself to anger management of his own volition, and it's actually worked. Wish he'd done it when we were younger, but you've got to respect the fact that he saw his problem and got the help he needed. People can change... just many choose not to.

thanks for sharing.i can totally see how this would have made your brother happy.wow i remember woolworths

[granite1]

Originally Posted by hankster

OMG granite - we have a wooden spoon story in our family too, about my mother breaking one over my brother's head. It wasn't until many years later that he finally spoke up about how maybe THAT part of the story, that it was HIS HEAD, was not cool. That maybe we shouldn't be laughing about how hard his head was that it broke the spoon. When I was living with my mom 5 years or so ago, I bought her a new big beautiful thick wooden spoon, and I have one too. But you're right - I bet it is a bittersweet symbol of food equals love AND of abuse in many families.

im sorry you have a similar story.i nolonger think it is a funny story at all and havnt for years in fact sometimes it haunts me completely how i use to buy them for her

[granite1]

Originally Posted by Elli-Beth

Ours was a bi metal one. My brother and I called it The Spanking Spoon.

ouch it seems a lot of us have these stories it feels so good to know that i am not alone and what is it with these kitchen utencles anyway.back then was it ok to do this i really wonder.seeing so many with the same stories

[granite1]

Originally Posted by RubenRawr

My dad does that stuff too, with whatever is closest sometimes or sometimes he makes us get something and give it to him so he can hit us with it.
But since i'm in the hospital a lot now cause i'm sick he can't do it as much cause other people being able to see it otherwise, when i have to take my shirt off or something. So he beats my brother mostly but he does other stuff to me

the mother use to do this also i always find it amazing how as children we could indure this .i can still hear her saying come over here right now so i can slap the living ***** out of that face of yours.and i would go over there so che didnt have to get up and chase me

please tell someone what is going on and keep yourself safe ok.let us know how you are doing