[sweepy62]

hi, i have never posted here before, to tell you the truth i was staying away because i was afraid i get chills coming to this forum, here it goes i been in therapy for a year i am diagnosed with borderline personality major depression generalized anxiety ptsd antisocial ptsd

i been in therapy for 1 yr my first time ever i never told anyone before therapy about childhood trauma and i am 42 i grew up in a violent alcoholic family my dad was the violent one
anyway just a couple of sessions ago i started baby steps to describing my trauma with my t trust me 20 min of that was very hard and i only touched the surface but my t is very good

here is the thing now i been getting nightmares that is when i sleep, i always been afraid of the dark and i get hives when i watch shows that include trauma where as before it did not bother me too much.

when i got married at 23 all these memories came up everytime my husband and i were intimate i would tense up i would feel pain and get hives and cry afterwards leaving my husband very confused.

i finally got the courage to post this and sorry for making it so long, i just wanted to know if all these nightmares and creepy feelings coming up now because of the recent disclosure with my t?

[roads]

Sure, it's normal. By talking about it, you've brought it into your conscious mind, where dreams sometimes find material. Dreams often are part of our working-out process of dealing with problems. Ever heard someone they, "I'll sleep on it"?

It would probably be useful to bring these dreams/nightmares to your sessions. Often they contain insights we miss in our waking life. Try not to let them upset you. Dreams seldom "mean" what they appear. By talking the dreams, night fears, etc out, they ought to eventually go away.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by roadrunnerbeepbeep

Sure, it's normal. By talking about it, you've brought it into your conscious mind, where dreams sometimes find material. Dreams often are part of our working-out process of dealing with problems. Ever heard someone they, "I'll sleep on it"?

It would probably be useful to bring these dreams/nightmares to your sessions. Often they contain insights we miss in our waking life. Try not to let them upset you. Dreams seldom "mean" what they appear. By talking the dreams, night fears, etc out, they ought to eventually go away.

thank you so much for replying it means so much

[needfixing]

thank you so much for sharing, its very brave and courageous of you.

i use to have nightmares, flashbacks, and triggers too, it stopped when i started to confront the sexual and physical abuse i went thru in my childhood.

for me writing and talking about my abuses is part of healing also knowing your not alone, and someone can understand/relate what you went thru.

when you have the strength and courage to talk about things out of the open we are here for you with open arms.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by needfixing

thank you so much for sharing, its very brave and courageous of you.

i use to have nightmares, flashbacks, and triggers too, it stopped when i started to confront the sexual and physical abuse i went thru in my childhood.

for me writing and talking about my abuses is part of healing also knowing your not alone, and someone can understand/relate what you went thru.

when you have the strength and courage to talk about things out of the open we are here for you with open arms.

thx it took alot of weeks thinking about posting here but i think i will continue posting i was so scared and ashamed and felt dirty but with the support of u guys and my t i hope i can go through with this addressing this is very scary i get alot of anxiety just thinking about it

[cellosrock]

I don't know that I can offer much in the way of anything. I can't relate, so that makes anything I say just my thinking without real understanding. However, it sounds like your nightmares and reactions are normal. The advice to talk about them and not take the dreams to "mean" anything sounds great.

My husband went through some major emotional abuse in his previous marriage and we have learned that we just have to talk about everything. Sometimes he reacts to something in such a strange way, but if we take the time to discuss it, we understand the reasons. He tries not to let his past be his present, but things take time. I know I really appreciate he being open and honest with me about where he is coming from. It's made me realize that even those of us without major trauma in the past have a lot to learn about communicating our thoughts/feelings/reasonings.

Good luck and it sounds like you are definitely on the right track.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by cellosrock

I don't know that I can offer much in the way of anything. I can't relate, so that makes anything I say just my thinking without real understanding. However, it sounds like your nightmares and reactions are normal. The advice to talk about them and not take the dreams to "mean" anything sounds great.

My husband went through some major emotional abuse in his previous marriage and we have learned that we just have to talk about everything. Sometimes he reacts to something in such a strange way, but if we take the time to discuss it, we understand the reasons. He tries not to let his past be his present, but things take time. I know I really appreciate he being open and honest with me about where he is coming from. It's made me realize that even those of us without major trauma in the past have a lot to learn about communicating our thoughts/feelings/reasonings.

Good luck and it sounds like you are definitely on the right track.

thank u very much for your input, i dont ever think i can tell my husband anything he is good to me we been married a long time but he is not the most sensitive person in the world and with such sensitive info u want someone to be empathic

[NYCDoglvr]

You have a great deal of courage to talk about these issues. It took me many years to get to the point you're at now. It's completely normal to have dreams about painful things in the past. When my husband left I had constant dreams about him leaving which was sooo painful. My therapist gave me an amazing tool: before going to bed I said out loud: "If I dream about _______ I will wake up immediately". It worked! I had to say it every night for a while but the depressing dreams stopped. Now I have dreams about my husband that aren't terrible, just normal dreams.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr

You have a great deal of courage to talk about these issues. It took me many years to get to the point you're at now. It's completely normal to have dreams about painful things in the past. When my husband left I had constant dreams about him leaving which was sooo painful. My therapist gave me an amazing tool: before going to bed I said out loud: "If I dream about _______ I will wake up immediately". It worked! I had to say it every night for a while but the depressing dreams stopped. Now I have dreams about my husband that aren't terrible, just normal dreams.

my t is very good and i been in therapy for a yr about four months ago i handed her a letter about multiple trauma in childhood then walked out of her office until 2 weeks ago that i skimmed through the topic i just did not want her to think that i wanted to delay my therapy

[lilypad29]

I agree with roadrunner. I, myself, was in an abusive household when I was growing up and I've recently begun having severe issues because of it. It's gotten to the point that it's affected my family and relationships, so I decided to do something about it. Sweepy, you did the right thing in beginning to see a professional about your issues and if it helps, I've done the same. I wish you luck.

Originally Posted by sweepy62

hi, i have never posted here before, to tell you the truth i was staying away because i was afraid i get chills coming to this forum, here it goes i been in therapy for a year i am diagnosed with borderline personality major depression generalized anxiety ptsd antisocial ptsd

i been in therapy for 1 yr my first time ever i never told anyone before therapy about childhood trauma and i am 42 i grew up in a violent alcoholic family my dad was the violent one
anyway just a couple of sessions ago i started baby steps to describing my trauma with my t trust me 20 min of that was very hard and i only touched the surface but my t is very good

here is the thing now i been getting nightmares that is when i sleep, i always been afraid of the dark and i get hives when i watch shows that include trauma where as before it did not bother me too much.

when i got married at 23 all these memories came up everytime my husband and i were intimate i would tense up i would feel pain and get hives and cry afterwards leaving my husband very confused.

i finally got the courage to post this and sorry for making it so long, i just wanted to know if all these nightmares and creepy feelings coming up now because of the recent disclosure with my t?

[sweepy62]

thanks for your reply i never thought in a million years that i would be discussing this with a therapist but even though its a slow process (trauma work) i hope its worth it she says i have to heal the inner child

[needfixing]

when you talked about your hubby not being senitive to you, mine too.

i told my hubby in 04 about my sexual abuse, (he already knew about my physical), no emotional support from him what so ever.

it's not because he doesn't love me, but he had a "normal" childhood, and didn't know what to say to me.

but i have to say, at first i did take it as he didn't love me, or i am damaged goods, it's not too, it was all in my head.

i learned i can't force someone to understand or relate what i been thru, especially if the person had a "normal" childhood.

again thank you so much for sharing.

[Sannah]

Hi Sweepy, you are doing good work. We will support you here on your journey.