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#1
Jan 24, 2012, 09:00 AM
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I have alot of abuse issues, mostly sexual and emotional..but its been going on for all my life from almost everyone ive trusted..my dad has been emotionally abusing me all my life, I was raped/molested at 8..when I was 15 I was sold into prostitution, and on and off for the past 10 years I've been dating my daughters father (she is almost 4) im 23 (jr high "sweethearts") who is to the extreme emotionally abusive physical not much but many threats. He broke up with me late december wanting to work things out, I finally made it clear to him it will never work out and I feel so mind ****ed right now..I'm a complete basket case..I 95% of the time can put on a front when around my daughter but I've been holding it in, I don't know how much I can take...i thought i had bad anxiety before..this is a whole new level that and depression is destroying me. Ive lost 20 pds in less than 2 weeks, i sleep at most 4 days at most in a week. I feel psychically sick, and mentally..I'm going to make a therapy appointment..I take medications depikode and valium....but I can't help but think letting go of a man that has destroyed me will be a mistake ...Even if god forbid something to happen to our daughter (which he barely try's to see her since day1) I have no way to contact him he had no phone, no solid place to stay, and when I cut the tie he said goodbye and I was blocked. I just don't know what to do..
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 Ardmore, BrokenNBeautiful, needfixing
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#2
Jan 24, 2012, 01:13 PM
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Hi Jenny, welcome to PC. Getting away from abusive people is good self care. Good work! It is also good self care getting into therapy. I can support you here. Do you have any other support IRL?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#3
Jan 24, 2012, 01:38 PM
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Quote:
I don't know what irl is but this is the first time I've really talked about the relationship abuse.. I don't really have any friends ..i just posted on here because I didnt know what else to do... |
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#4
Jan 24, 2012, 02:12 PM
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welcome.
ya know..sometimes the people we are "tied" to as family aren't the ones we should be...& the ones we choose as family are our real ones. this guy while he is the father of your child isn't family. eventually you will make new family..friends, new lovers, etc who will become better than ones who have failed in the past. it takes time & can not be rushed. but it can & does happen. trust me. i have seen it happen...i have done it. my birth family were just plain evil...been there with the physical, sexual, emotional abuse. my parents are dead & i have had no contact with my siblings for 20+ years & that is just fine. BUT i am surrounded by the most loving friends who i now consider my family. when i am sick, they worry & care for me as tho i am their own. they help me, offer birthday & holiday wishes & gifts, celebrate & mourn & yell & scream just like a real family does. so it will happen. this guy not being a part of your life. trust me...the best thing that can happen for you. until then be patient, get strong, know your daughter...go to church groups, day care, playgrounds, etc... i take my dogs to the dog park...& i have met amazing people there..i would imagine the same is true at playgrounds.... |
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#5
Jan 25, 2012, 12:36 AM
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Quote:
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#6
Jan 25, 2012, 08:50 AM
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Jenny, irl means "in real life". When we grow up in dysfunctional families where everyone isn't healthy (emotionally/mentally) , we tend to keep ourselves in these environments. I think it is due to low self worth. This was my experience. I used to run fast from healthy people. Healthy people can really see you and when you have low self worth, this doesn't feel so good. So if we run away from healthy people, we still get lonely, so this only leaves unhealthy people for us to be around. Unhealthy people don't see us so there isn't that discomfort, but it isn't healthy for us at all. I worked past this. In the moment where I wanted to run from a healthy person I would stop myself and make myself focus on what was going on and what I was feeling. And then I would take the time afterwards to think about what happened, what it all meant, and how I was going to deal with it. I moved past all of this now. I can be around healthy people now. And boy, is my life better!
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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