unresolved bad things undigested uncomprehended collapsing on me to the wretched depths of my pitish hell of my inhabitation. Why try to wrestle me from my misery? I have taken eternities of hell to adapt to it. It sucks. I'm worthless. You want to bring me into light to send me down again. That is the hard part. betrayal. don't offer it love me. betrayal is more painfulthan hell. I feel guilty. I want to punish myself. I hate myself. whatevr. I need help.

[lynn P.]

(((brookwest))) - I'm so sorry you're in mental pain and frustrated. Are you getting help? Don't let what the abuser said or did, make you turn against yourself. This was forced on you when you were helpless, but you're not helpless anymore. I like to imagine healing as....... you pack all the crap / pain in a suitcase and give it back to the abuser. I pray it gets better for you.

Thanks . I feel better now. I was nervous about something, sometimes anxiety can manifest strangly with me. I see my psychologist today. you are very kind. I hope I can help you, someday.