![]() |
FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
#1
|
||||
|
||||
Had a terrible weekend when I fell off the wagon again and smoked pot. Could have killed myself and other drivers when I made a 60 mile trip home stoned. Take care of my parents 24/7 and Monday hit the home health aides car in their driveway. Had to retrieve my insurance info from my apartment it wasn't in the glove compartment. Anyway, on the way to my apartment I literally saw red and couldn't stop screaming. I felt like a very bad and angry little girl. This is my second rage reaction in so many months and this sort of symptom hasn't been prevalent since the 1990's. That was when I first recovered my memories of abuse. After 21 years of weekly therapy I'm afraid I'm at square one again. Any suggestions?
![]() |
![]() bluemountains
|
![]() Gr3tta
|
#2
|
||||
|
||||
Sometimes we have peaks and valleys in our recovery.
It's more like a squiggly line than a straight one going up. I identify with being out of control in rage. That was the first emotion I felt when I started remembering. Billi
__________________
The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness! ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Gr3tta, Lizzie B
|
#3
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
![]() |
![]() Gr3tta
|
#4
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
We all need to be reminded. Billi
__________________
The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness! ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() Lizzie B
|
#5
|
||||
|
||||
These ^ are all connected. Are you going to share this with your T? You are definitely not back at square one. You are on your path to healing.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
![]() Lizzie B
|
![]() Lizzie B
|
#6
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
Yes, I told my T about it. She thinks it may be that I'm primary caretaker now for my parents. Some of the anger I stored about them not "saving me" may have come back. This is the first time I've lived close by them in 30 years. Yes, I think all the stuff that's been going on with me is connected. Thanks, for reminding me that recovery has it's peaks and valleys. ![]()
__________________
![]() ![]() |
#7
|
||||
|
||||
I think that what might have also bothered you was doing something "wrong" ?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
![]() Lizzie B
|
![]() Lizzie B
|
#8
|
||||
|
||||
Quote:
Thanks.
__________________
![]() ![]() |
![]() Sannah
|
Reply |
|