[RainbowRoad]

On a walk to do some laundry, I pass through an alley way between houses. Normally, it's a pleasant little walk. The area isn't the most fabulous, but I have a great view of the mountains.

Anyway, today I randomly got attacked by a couple bulldogs that had free reign of the area, because their fence was knocked down. I faced the dogs and told them to "go home". One of them bit me, but didn't break the skin. Their owner came out and called them off... put them back in his house. He apologized and wondered aloud what happened to his fence.

When I got home, I was advised to make a report of it. I have kids, and those dogs were pretty viscious. So I did. Animal control will come out and give the man a warning - though I did not file a complaint or request the dogs be impounded or anything.

Now I'm fighting a panic attack. The man was the sort of guy I don't care to run into... muscular and without a shirt on. I don't blame him. It's not his fault that I have ... issues with men. But now I'm terrified. I don't want to walk through that alley anymore - both because I'd rather not rile his dogs, but mostly I don't want to see him. I'm afraid he will blame me for receiving a warning about the dogs. I'm afraid he'll show up at my house - especially when my husband is at work.

It's... not a thing that is likely to happen. I just... have had reason to be afraid to be at home, because of a man... and this just brings up that old feeling.

I hate this.

[kaliope]

rainbow....your feelings are perfectly valid. totally normal. i dont see them having anything to do with triggers or issues with men at all. i see them as being completely appropriate to the situation. so please dont put yourself down. like you said, its unlikely to happen, but then againg, in todays society, you never know what is going to happen, so we always have reason to fear.

hang in there and breathe.....

[Sannah]

Keep us updated on how you are doing?

[RainbowRoad]

Thank you for the validation and care. That meant so much to me.

Today is a new day. I'm doing better. Yesterday was... rough, all around. After the experience with the dogs, I had a full-on mental shutdown when I tried to buy new phones with my husband. The salesmen threw out a lot of information, fast, and I needed to make a decision - and I just shut down. I really hate it when that happens. Comes on in moments of stress... either because I'm in a crowded place, or there is too much stimuli (excessive bright lights and noise), or feel threatened, or just have to process too much information very quickly. I've wondered for years what caused this...

I'm wondering if it's a type of dissociation related to trauma. One more thing to ask my psychiatrist in three weeks....

[Sannah]

Below is a test for introversion. I read this article in TIME magazine and it made me feel much better about myself! Introverts just can't take too much stimulation. There is nothing wrong with us, it's just the way we are.

http://healthland.time.com/2012/01/2...r-an-ambivert/