[healed84]

I wrote yesterday about my session with T in the psychothearpy board. Yesterday, was my first appointment since telling T about the csa. He asked me a couple of questions about unrelated things, then he brought up how I told him about the abuse. We talked about it a little more, just a little more detail than the appointment before. He could tell that I was getting more and more anxious, and really starting to shut down. So, he ended the appointment early.. However, I just could not get out of my chair. He asked me if I was going to be okay, and I just broke down. He worked with me to calm me down and I left.

However, since then I have been a mess. One mintue I am fine, the next I am filled with anxiety and crying. Last night I spent most of the evening in my bedroom hiding from everybody. Had no desire to be around people. Today, I could not face the outside world. So, I did not bring my child to preschool. I called T.. left a message, he did not get back to me. I will call back in the morning. Although, I am not sure what he is going to say to help. I am currently hiding out in my bedroom again. I really want to conqure this issue. However, I am not sure I can handle the crap that comes with letting it all out. I don't if I can do this.

I have no great advice. I have been through the crying, anxiety ridden thing right after telling. It is unutterably unpleasant to go through, but it does get better. Wish I could say something to make it better now. Hang in there, and know that you are not alone.

[mortimer]

Sorry you don't feel so good.

I think you're very brave.

[LindenTree]

I went through the same thing after I told T about my csa. For a while I was unbelievably upset and anxious and dwelled on it all the time. It's like a wound you didn't notice but now that you see it you keep banging it into things. All I can tell you is the more I talked about it the less it upset me. It took a long time, but it doesn't hurt so much anymore.

Mortimer is right - you are very brave. Just go slowly and let the crap out a little bit at a time. It's hard, but you can do it, and you will feel so much better for it.

[healed84]

Thanks for the encouragment! T called me back this morning and he wanted to see me this afternoon since he had a cancellation. It was not a full session, but it was good to talk to him. He said what the most of you have said. I am upset b/c I am now thinking about the terrible thing that happend to me. T has been really supportive and understanding, and there for me. I am thankful for that. Thankful for all of you!

[Purple Heart]

HI healed84

I guess I learnt many years ago from using an analogy of a ship going through a storm. The skipper never turns back or anchors in the storm. He steams or sails ahead THROUGH the storm. He knows if he continues to sail through the storm he will reach calm waters. I believe this is the same with mental disturbances, if we go through it we will get better and heal.