[chritine293]

I had a boyfriend, who was abusive in all ways. And in my new relationship I have problems saying small things (like i got a birthday gift that was a bracelet and it broke, and a teddy bear with a star(where you get to name a star and the website was down) and the gifts were thoughtful but i felt guilty and like it was my fault for the website being down and didn't want to say anything because I am scared he would be upset with me) also when him and I go to dinner, I never am able to say where I want to go (and he would have no problem having me choose, I am just afraid that I will choose wrong and he will be upset, and I make sure what I order is okay with him first even though he never has any of what I'm eating, (one time we went for sushi and he forgot that I was allergic to shrimp, and he ordered everything and when it came I just didn't eat because I thought it was his way of getting back at me for something I had done, even though everything was fine). And I feel like I am not able to say what I want or what I don't want because of he might react badly, and I know he would not care, but I'm still to scared to verbalize what I want.

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

I am so sorry. Im sure youve heard this before but it will get better. You were hurt, its hard to let your defences down and it wont happen over night, it will take a lot of time and work but it will get better. 2.5 years ago i wouldnt walk next to my now fiance. I wouldnt tell jokes (females dont joke according to ex) i hid anything i thought would upset him, i was constantly wondering what terrible things he thought about me. But in time, i realized not all men are the same. Some men will think as many good things about you as you do them. Most men dont spend the day thinking about how you are going to make them mad next. They are caring, understanding and kind.

I still have trouble, its my own insecurities now. You know how abusive men love to make you feel like nothing? Thats my obstacle now. But i continue to tell myself, my fiance loves me for who i am. He is with me for me,. Its a long road to overcoming the past abuse, but it can happen. It just takes baby steps and reminding yourself you are with a better man.