[Hanif]

here the thing i keep write this only to erase later from the age's of 6, to 16 I was molested everyday day when i told my mom she said i was wanted it to haappen this was by age 12, my mom an her sister live with us all my life my two aunt are on coke an crack both now an then ,i was not molested by them but rather the men in there live an by one family member.



he used to like to hid in the dark an jump out alot of time he make me have oral sex with him, an the have me jerk him off , or rub us again me on my butt till he came ... he lock me into his room an tell me if i dont do it he was going after my two baby sister... this was every day till we more to a shelter which later was a everyday thing as well moveing from shelter to shelter. my mom drink alot , alot of time she pull knife's out on me an cut me

stab , my aunt used to beat us with what every they could find ,they'll lock into the back room , so they could sell they body , an later we find blood condom's an coke valve on the floor!

it was 13 kids at the time in a 3 bedroom house and 3 adult , alot of time we had no heat , no food , we used to run after the free bread truck to get food
an got out cloth from church drive's , I never understood how this was my life being as though my grandma was a preacher at the chucrh that we went too..

i once told the school counselor all tha had happen to me an ask could i be move but i they did was tell my family which made them even move mad an beat an rape me even move .. the funny thing is this was know by my family
that this was happen to me an yet no one help me... to this day my family

an i dont' speak alot i block a lot of memory from when i was little i fear that this will happen to my kids even tho it's just me an my wife , one of my aunt lose custody of her an there living with my mom an my mom trying to do all she can for them but don't try to heal what she done to me an my 2 sister

i dont know i write im just going to take it down again im trying to leave it up this time im just scare of someone find it going back to tell them. even thou i'm a 33 yr old man i still feel like a 9 , 16 yr boy at time , i often wonder how come i let these things go on an how come Allah didn't let me die then ... an now MY doctor appt is so far away 6/28 an the conversation in my head is getting louder an louder ,

[Leed]

Bless your heart. Don't listen to the voices in your head!! Just refuse to listen!! I'm glad you have a doctors appointment! MAKE SURE that you tell him everything that happened to you, ok? That's the ONLY way he can help you! You must tell him. I know it will be hard for you, but it's very important. It WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. You were ABUSED. You didn't NOT cause it!!!

You should have been PROTECTED from that but you weren't. Now you have to heal from it, and it may take time. But you WILL HEAL. It will take some work on your part, but your doctor will help you. And we will help you too. Just keep posting here, too ok? Don't be afraid to post.

I'm so glad you came here and posted and trusted us. I know it was hard for you to post what you did.

Remember --- THIS WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. So be sure to tell your doctor everything that happened to you, ok? God bless and let us know how you're doing when you see your doctor. And keep posting. Hugs, Lee

[Sannah]

Welcome to PC Hanif. Keep writing here if it helps. I'm sorry that all of that happened to you.

[Hanif]

thanks you

[Crew]

awww hey Hanif, I am so sorry that you were hurt everyday.

Please know that your not alone that I get what your saying and that you went through all of that pain! I am so sorry.

What a great start at writing it out.

to PC and I hope to get to know you better.

You found you a good place here at PC. I wish you peace.

Things will get better and what a honor it is to meet you. Crew