[teenytiny]

Hi. Well I would like some feedback on breaking the cycle... My mother was an abusive drunk. My sister,uncle,g-ma,bro are all alcholics. My sis and uncle were heroin addicts and my bro was also into crack and other things.

I think im safe to say I broke the cycle!!! I don't abuse my children. I hardly drink and always keep it in my mind that alcholism runs in the family. Yes i smoke pot but have not done any other drugs. My children are happy kids that listen fairly well. I can't complain. What does everyone else think? Have i broken the cycle or is there more i can do???

[Sannah]

Ask your kids? Do they have any emotional or psychological issues?

[lynn P.]

Very good job you're doing. Sorry you suffered with an abusive mother and alcoholism in your family. Alcoholism runs in my family too - my brother ended his own life by consuming a large quantity of alcohol. Luckily I wasn't abused. I used to be a social drinker when I was younger but now I just don't touch. Never really liked the taste or how it made me feel.

One thing you can do when your kids are age appropriate is, teach them about your family history. I'm honest with my girls and told them if they end up wanting to try alcohol, it should be moderate or better not at all. Personally I can't stand smelling it or seeing how people act. Seems like you're doing a great job in breaking the cycle. If your kids are good parents too, then a good cycle will begin.

[geez]

You certainly have come a long way from where you were growing up. Note: I would not smoke pot or anything for that matter - IMO.

If you could write a story about what type of parenting would make sure your children are emotionally healthy what would that story say?

I was abused as a child and didn't know how to be a functional parent so when my first born was still a baby I signed myself up for a positive parenting class and it changed my life (in addition to reading psychology books and childrens emotional development). For me being a good parent shouldn't just be all about not beating my children or not withholding love and affection. I needed to know how to act most appropriately to ensure their emotional/mental health.

There are behaviors that can lead to addiction (in addition to biological). It's important to know what those behaviors are and be able to create new ones that are positive. I don't want my children to just survive like I did. I want them to have no boundaries or limits to success. I want them to thrive.

[teenytiny]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

Very good job you're doing. Sorry you suffered with an abusive mother and alcoholism in your family. Alcoholism runs in my family too - my brother ended his own life by consuming a large quantity of alcohol. Luckily I wasn't abused. I used to be a social drinker when I was younger but now I just don't touch. Never really liked the taste or how it made me feel.

One thing you can do when your kids are age appropriate is, teach them about your family history. I'm honest with my girls and told them if they end up wanting to try alcohol, it should be moderate or better not at all. Personally I can't stand smelling it or seeing how people act. Seems like you're doing a great job in breaking the cycle. If your kids are good parents too, then a good cycle will begin.

Definitly!!!! I really agree with what you said and thank you!! Honesty is something I crave for so badly cause my whole childhood was a lie. And my girls will all be be very well taught when they do get of age. Thanks again!!!!

[Leed]

I just want to applaud you for "breaking the cycle" and making sure your kids aren't exposed to alcohol. Both my parent were alcoholics, and I too became one. I was a heavy drinker for many years, and my poor kids had to witness quite alot. But before they left home, I got sober and cleaned up my act. I made amends to them and thankfully they forgave me. Their father unfortunately continued to drink. He was an alcoholic too.

My granddaughter has never seen me take a drink, so thankfully my daughter never had to worry about my taking care of her while she grew up. She's now 16, and I always babysat with her when needed. I cherish those days. If I'd been drinking, naturally my daughter wouldn't have been able to trust me with her.

Thank God YOU broke the cycle. Hopefully your children will never pick up the bottle -- I pray they won't but they're still at risk. I know that you'll be vigilant about alcohol and they'll heed your warnings. God bless and take care! Hugs, Lee

[shezbut]

teenytiny,

I'd recommend starting educating your children about the disease while they are young and more willing to listen and absorb what you have to say. Not to freak your kids out, but just to prepare them for those times when their friends want to get high or drunk with them.

I have been pretty open with my daughters about taking care of themselves. I am disabled, due to a brain injury, so they've seen and dealt with the consequences for themselves. I'm therefore pretty darn strict on wearing helmets and taking other necessary precautions to prevent TBI. I sometimes go a little overboard on my worries about everything that could happen to my girls ~ but I'm trying to stay on the positive side with them.

Best wishes to you!