My best friend

This woman and me were best friend for more then 8 years. We did a lot of thing together and I have supported and helped her in many ways.

She was a single mother and sometime having a hard time. So I baby-sit her daughter a lot to give her breaks. I also drove her here and there very often since she didn’t have a car.

During this time she went 3 times to hospital, once for surgery and twice for broken bones. I visited her a lot in the hospital and took care of her when she got back home. Also the 3 times I took her daughter to my home until she could recover.

This woman is right the opposite of me. She has a loud voice. She surely doesn’t think twice to say what’s on her mind even if it hurt people. She is also self-centered. If she don’t gets what she wants she gets angry and I mean angry. She wants to be first in any situation. She likes attention. While we were best friends I never saw that in her or maybe I didn’t wanted to see it. Something awful had to happen before I could admit to myself that she was this way.

The last 2 years that she was my best friend, we were working together in a restaurant as waitresses. I did noticed that the customers were more nice to me and leave me better tips then they would leave to her but what could I do about it. She started to ask me what did I say to the customers, what did I promise them so I could have better tips then her. I always thought she was joking and I didn’t bother with what she was saying.

One day the manager came to me and said there was a manager assistant position opening and he wanted me to get the position. Of course I was please. I had 3 children and needed the money. I told my best friend and she replied: “How come you get a chance to get that position and not me? I was working here before you.” I didn’t know what to reply. She walked away swearing.

The next evening while I was working something bad happened. When I closed the restaurant there was money missing from the cash. A lot of money. I did that cash over and over again but I couldn’t see where the money went and why it was missing. So I left a note to the manager and for him to call me the next morning since I wasn’t working for the next 2 days. He did called me the next evening saying he was pressing charges against me for stealing. He said he had a witness. I asked him who it was but he didn’t say.

The next week was hell for me. All I could think was about that evening. Going over and over again my every step in that restaurant. I just couldn’t see where the money went or what has happened. Me, mother of 3 children, going to jail for stealing. I couldn’t defend myself since I was the only one working that evening.

Then my manager called again saying that he was so terribly sorry to have put charges against me and not giving me at least a chance. He said that one of the customers that evening came to him and asked him how was his son. The manager doesn’t have any son. So the customer said to him: “I was sure you have a son. The evening I was at your restaurant, while the waitress has went in the back to get something, this young man went behind the counter, opened the cash and took money. I really thought that he was your son.”

My manager apologized again and again and told me his offer still stood for me to being assistant manager. I refused the position and told him I would never work there again. Then I asked him the question: Who was the witness that told you that had seen me taken the money?” He replied: “ Look I have hurt you enough as it is. Lets forget about the whole thing.” I repeated my question: “ Who?” and he said it was my best friend.

[cherybery]

((((((((((((((time))))))))))))))))))))
I am so sorry this happened to you! I too had a friend whom I cared for much like you did yours. Out of nowhere as I became ill with my depression she began too dislike me. I considered her like family. I know it has to be painful for you and I am not sure what your faith is but I told myself along with some of my closest friends that "God knows the truth"
I am not sure why people do what your friend did and I cannot answer to what mine did but I have learned you can only feel sorry for people like that because in the long run they will find they ruined the most important thing in their lives and that is your friendship and trust.
BIG HUGS
Cher

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((((Time0)))))))))))))) I am so sorry t hat I didn't see this post sooner. I can only imagine your devastation over your friends actions. Unfortunately it sounds like you were the one giving all the time. People can do terrible things to others sometimes. I am sorry it happened to you.

[hillbunnyb]

Hey TimeO. What a crappy situation. Geez. Lotsa people are lots sicker than us. Sometimes I just have to shake my head...
sounds like you were set up big time. bumpies 4 U ))))TimeO (((( (((( PS the manager must feel like a creep. If you could forgive him and talk it through, perhaps you could actually have a strong allie and maybe take the advancement and raise after all. ????? Just a thought since you know the work tier already.......

[wisewoman]

With friends like that.... Don't cut off opportunities for yourself because of the pain and fear. If I had wanted the job I would have gone for it. The friend, I guess I am maybe not so nice cause I woulda done a dog poop bomb or something to her. I try to be peaceful but.... It woulda been funny.

I think it's really sad that people, like my ex best friend, thinks that this is what they have to do to achieve happiness because really, they are on the wrong path.

I also think that we should cherish a real friend, when we have one, because we don't found them in every corner. A friend is like a waterfall in a desert.

Thank you dear ones!

[mangledreality]

Oh how hard it is to find out a friend, is everything but. You helped her time and again and she took the first chance she had to hurt you. This could have ended so much worse, I am glad the charges were cleared. yet I am sure your ability to trust took a hit and you must feel violated. Those we care about cut us the deepest. I hope you can find the right people to surround your self with. I hoped that Waterfall is right arround the corner for you!!! mangeled reality

[patricia72]

I agree, true freinds are truely rare...
Personnally, I have such a big trust issue tha I may never allow myself to find a true freind...
I admire that were able to take the cahnce, and feel for you that you got hurt...
One expression that stays in my mind, perhaps some wisdom I will be able to apply someday...
"it is better to have loved than to have never loved at all"
....without love what is life?
Wishing you the very best,
Patricia xx

[funnygirl]

Dear Time0

I have read your story with mounting empathy. What a terrible thing to have happened, being betrayed and set up by your best friend.

You were probably too helpful to her all along. It doesn't sound as if she was ever helpful to you. She was envious and jealous of the way you can get along with people.

I hope she was dismissed from her job for her inexcusable lies. Now you have lost your promotion and the manager has lost you, a trusted employee.

Isn't there any way you can get compensation for the loss of your employment and related stress? I would investigate that line of thought.

We have something called Victim Support in the UK.

I hope you don't just drop this - please take it further; you should not walk away empty-handed.

Best wishes, FG

Hi TimeO
I'm sorry that you had to learn your friend is not a friend to you at all. That really hurts and you deserve so much better then that. (((((((((TimeO)))))))))

I have walked away from this job and I have also walked away from this friend.

I give chances a lot but when push to far, I walk away and never do I turn back. Never. This is my way to survive. I just go forward in a different path. This is my strenght.

Thank you so much for understanding and for your caring.

[Hopefull]

In that case, I hope you find an even better job and a true friend.