[Ones44]

I was used as a scapegoat for the admin at my elementary school... When anything happened around the school(i.e. a fight broke out) I would be sent to the office and would be blamed, even if I was on the other side of the school at the time it happened... And they would interrogate me until I confessed to whatever it was... Sometimes I was guilty, but only normally because I couldn't distinguish between the voices in my head and real voices... In second grade I was suspended almost twice a week from school for 0 days... and so I would always have to face the same again the next day... Every time I got in trouble at school I would be beaten at home... and I would be grounded for months at a time... So my childhood was basically me sitting in my room at home doing nothing or reading... I liked reading because it was escape and I had a college reading level by early third grade... Most of the time the fictional characters were my friends... I had only two real friends, both were neighbors... And so I cherished hanging out with them, because that meant something to do... But I would be grounded most of the time, so I wasn't normally allowed to hang with them... One of the betrayed me and stole my favorite video game and a video game I borrowed from my other friend... So I lost one friend and the other friendship was strained(but only because the offense was so big in my head... my friend forgave and forgot in seconds...)Anyways... school was far worse than home... At home I just sat in my room and was constantly paranoid of getting whipped from unknown infractions, and would panic whenever anyone walked up the stairs toward my room... At school I was constantly scared of being called to the office... I had no real friends at school either... After a few years my parents figured out what was going an pulled me out of that school an put me in another...(just after my first suicide attempt at the age of seven?) which was even worse... ...I had this f***ing demon teacher who hated me... I remember distinctly walking down the hall in a line with the rest of the class and whenever we turned a corner she would stop me and tell me I didn't do it right (we were all supposed to walk down the line that separated the tiles just like all public elementary schools in my area, the tiles were about 5 feet by 5 feet so it was easy). She would make me walk back and forth down the tile, I would execute the task perfectly each time... she would make me continue that way until I broke down crying... I would then be sent to the office for disrespecting the teacher and disturbing the class from its work... so more whipping... It was worse because I wasn't a scapegoat... At the previous school they did it to preserve the school's statistics on discipline... At the new school the teacher did it for a reason still unknown to me... Because of the motivations, the first school was at least respectful of me... The second school, that teacher mocked me through the entire situation... The abuse was more consistent at the new school, because at the old school it was done only when someone did something wrong... at the new school it was daily... Anyways one day she was making us write about cookies in our daily journals... and then she told me to give her my pencil... I was confused... I went to give it to her... and then she takes it calls the office and tells them that I tried to stab her... fml... anyways, I remember attempting to tell my side of the story... I think I was expelled anyways...

Would that be considered abuse?

[Sannah]

How terrible that that happened to you.