[Ticli-Otops]

After all the physical abuse I've dealt with... I'm still so afraid of every guy that comes near me. I can barely be in the same room as my boyfriend when he's mad. I get so scared, and I can't help it. I don't even know how to explain this to anyone. Anyone I tell just think I'm over thinking it all, and that I have no reason to still be scared. I don't know what to do.

[Sannah]

His anger is triggering you back to your previous abuse. Your fear is most likely your fear from the past which you have stored. How are your sessions going with your T?

[Little Me]

Originally Posted by Ticli-Otops

After all the physical abuse I've dealt with... I'm still so afraid of every guy that comes near me. I can barely be in the same room as my boyfriend when he's mad. I get so scared, and I can't help it. I don't even know how to explain this to anyone. Anyone I tell just think I'm over thinking it all, and that I have no reason to still be scared. I don't know what to do.

I understand completely. I have extreme difficulty being around anyone mad, loud or remotely upset at me particularly. When family members have conflict I go into panic mode. It has gotten better. What I usually do is go to another room or leave. I have to. It has gotten a little better the past year as I've been working on things and I guess healing some too. Thinking about you, hang in there. I now believe in hope....

[skeksi]

I experience this, too. You are not alone in being scared around anger.

What if, instead of telling yourself there's no reason to be scared, you told yourself that being scared was okay and made sense? Accepting the feeling, instead of fighting it, makes it easier for me to find ways to cope with it. I wish I could just not be scared--but that's not possible right now. So instead, I do things to cope with being triggered in the situation, like maintain distance from the person, communicating my feelings, and taking breaks from the person to remember I am safe.

I'm sorry you have to experience this too.

[Ticli-Otops]

But what am I supposed to do when I can't maintain distance from the person?
I'm always stuck around someone violent, and angry....
It's scary..

[Harley47]

Originally Posted by Ticli-Otops

But what am I supposed to do when I can't maintain distance from the person?
I'm always stuck around someone violent, and angry....
It's scary..

In an instance like that, try to remember that they're only upset because (whatever reason), and that it'll pass. Try to remind yourself that they'll huff and puff and generally it'll pass. My father and stepmother used to get into...shall we say, very "heated"...arguments. That's what I did. It worked, most of the time.

[skeksi]

Originally Posted by Ticli-Otops

But what am I supposed to do when I can't maintain distance from the person?
I'm always stuck around someone violent, and angry....
It's scary..

If your partner is not just angry, but violent, then it's not a matter of your brain telling you from the past that it's not safe. An angry, violent person is NOT safe.

Has your partner hurt you with words or his hands?

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by Ticli-Otops

But what am I supposed to do when I can't maintain distance from the person?
I'm always stuck around someone violent, and angry....
It's scary..

Sounds like you need to do some general housekeeping. Cleaning up your environment is very important. I don't have anyone in my life who is violent or angry.

[ShaggyChic_1201]

I hear such pain and fear in your statement, I'm always stuck around someone violent and angry.... I'm very very sorry. ((((T-O)))))

[Ticli-Otops]

Originally Posted by skeksi

If your partner is not just angry, but violent, then it's not a matter of your brain telling you from the past that it's not safe. An angry, violent person is NOT safe.

Has your partner hurt you with words or his hands?

He's always saying things, just to hurt me. And he's only hit me once. A long, long time ago.

[yellowted]

if your bf is violant and angry then he does not deserve you to be around him. you deserve better than that and if he can't see or understand that then i would question whether he is the right man for you to spend your time with. believe me life is too short to waste being around people who are scaring you or making you unhappy. life is for living, to live you have to have fun, enjoyment and piece of mind, none of which you are getting from your bf when he is angry or violant.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by Ticli-Otops

He's always saying things, just to hurt me.

This isn't good at all.