[tellurian]

Well, I haven't really told anyone my story in some time, but I kind of feel the need to unload it here. To people who might understand what I've been through. So, beware of rather long and graphic descriptions of childhood sexual and physical abuse.

I was physically abused from the ages of about 3 to 7, by my moms boyfriend. I eventually learned that the abuse was his way of punishing me for being such an awful little girl. I'm not sure why, maybe because I cried sometimes or was too loud. I don't know. He had a number of different punishments he liked to use, though his favorite was simply beating me with one of his many belts until I started shrieking. One time I made him angry because I wasn't eating a bit of watermelon quickly enough, and so he pulled my head back and used his fingers to push the fruit down my throat. He did it so violently that the roof of my mouth ended up tattered and took ages to heal. Another time, he came into the bathroom while I was taking a bath and held me under while I kicked and struggled. I think the only reason he stopped was because my mom returned from a shopping trip at that moment and he rushed out to meet her.

Bleh. There are so many memories like that. Him inflicting painful, and often incredibly humiliating punishments on me while my mother was out running an errand or simply had her back turned for a bit too long.

The next boyfriend was the complete opposite. One camping trip, he started sexually abusing me and continued for three years. He was more bold than the first, and did things to me while my mom was asleep next to us. Or on the bunk below us, if we were on a bunk bed.

My mom barely believed me about the second guy. She made him fumble through an apology to me, and then simply kept seeing him.

Ugh. That felt rather terrible to write, but I actually feel a bit lighter now. If you made it this far, thank you so much for your time!

[adam_k]

Im sorry you had to go through this. That is something that is horrible to do to someone else especially a child. I wish I had something to say and make you feel better. If you want someone to talk to you can p.m. me. I find talking helps me get things out and I feel less overwelmed by them.

[Sannah]

Hi tellurian, welcome to PC. I'm so sorry that those things happened to you. You deserved better! These men didn't abuse you because there was something wrong with you (even though to a child this would be the only thing that would make sense to a youngster). These men abused you because there was something wrong with them.

Getting a therapist to work through this with would be really helpful.

I can support you here.

[tellurian]

Originally Posted by adam_k

Im sorry you had to go through this. That is something that is horrible to do to someone else especially a child. I wish I had something to say and make you feel better. If you want someone to talk to you can p.m. me. I find talking helps me get things out and I feel less overwelmed by them.

Thank you. That's really kind of you to offer. :]

[tellurian]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Hi tellurian, welcome to PC. I'm so sorry that those things happened to you. You deserved better! These men didn't abuse you because there was something wrong with you (even though to a child this would be the only thing that would make sense to a youngster). These men abused you because there was something wrong with them.

Getting a therapist to work through this with would be really helpful.

I can support you here.

Thank you. I actually do have a therapist, and we've been working through some of this stuff together. It really is a big help.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by tellurian

Well, I haven't really told anyone my story in some time, but I kind of feel the need to unload it here. To people who might understand what I've been through. So, beware of rather long and graphic descriptions of childhood sexual and physical abuse.

I was physically abused from the ages of about 3 to 7, by my moms boyfriend. I eventually learned that the abuse was his way of punishing me for being such an awful little girl. I'm not sure why, maybe because I cried sometimes or was too loud. I don't know. He had a number of different punishments he liked to use, though his favorite was simply beating me with one of his many belts until I started shrieking. One time I made him angry because I wasn't eating a bit of watermelon quickly enough, and so he pulled my head back and used his fingers to push the fruit down my throat. He did it so violently that the roof of my mouth ended up tattered and took ages to heal. Another time, he came into the bathroom while I was taking a bath and held me under while I kicked and struggled. I think the only reason he stopped was because my mom returned from a shopping trip at that moment and he rushed out to meet her.

Bleh. There are so many memories like that. Him inflicting painful, and often incredibly humiliating punishments on me while my mother was out running an errand or simply had her back turned for a bit too long.

The next boyfriend was the complete opposite. One camping trip, he started sexually abusing me and continued for three years. He was more bold than the first, and did things to me while my mom was asleep next to us. Or on the bunk below us, if we were on a bunk bed.

My mom barely believed me about the second guy. She made him fumble through an apology to me, and then simply kept seeing him.

Ugh. That felt rather terrible to write, but I actually feel a bit lighter now. If you made it this far, thank you so much for your time!

Horrible things that he did to you.

I am so sorry.

Thanks for posting your story.

I did make it thru the story.

You did not deserve it.

Being loud or not eating fast enough. Not an excuse for him to be so horrible to you.

Carol