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#1
Feb 25, 2013, 01:59 AM
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I don't know why, but I looked up the account of the guy who raped and abused me.... Worst thing I've ever done... I just burst into tears. But it wasn't tears of fear. It's felt more like sad tears. Because he has pictures with MY friends, at MY school, playing MY sports. When I am stuck in hell. I still LOVE him!
HOW CAN THIS BE?! After everything he did and everything I've been through since, I am still in love with him. And I wish I could spend the rest of my life with him. I don't understand these feelings. I'm so lonely and empty without him. Even though he hurt me. Not just physically, but emotionally. It hurt the most when I had to leave him. I don't understand!!! Why can't I be normal?!! **sorry I post so often** |
 astenon, Bill3, IowaFarmGal, optimize990h, Silent_Tears_17, ThisWayOut
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#2
Feb 25, 2013, 06:40 AM
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Girl,
First of all, you don't post too often, you post as often as you need to. You have issues you want to work through and, as you have little support in real life, it's better to use this site to help address those issues, than it is to bottle it up. I'm not sure looking up the ex was the wisest thing you could have done, but we all make mistakes and curiosity gets the better of us at times, so don't beat yourself up over it. As for why you're still in love. I'm not sure you are 'in love' with him as such. I'm pretty sure from your other posts that if you were to be in the same room as him, you'd probably either freeze in fear or run like hell. It's pretty hard to actually love someone who provokes that reaction in you. I suspect you may be pining for the way you felt when times were good. You miss those feelings of happiness, of love and that is what prompted the tears. Could you perhaps be grieving the relationship you had when times were good? Whatever you do, don't act on these feelings. You will never have that sort of relationship with him again. If you were to resume contact, you will live your life in fear no matter how much he may apologise. No-one can live like that. In time, these feelings will fade and you will find happiness with another. Someone who will love you and not abuse you. |
 GirlOfManyFaces
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#3
Feb 25, 2013, 08:29 AM
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Thank you. That was very helpful. |
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#4
Feb 25, 2013, 03:36 PM
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Wait. What account is this? Facebook? He's not on PC, is he?
__________________
 If we believe we can't lose Even mountains will move It's my faith, it's my life This is our battle cry! -Skillet |
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#5
Feb 25, 2013, 03:40 PM
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#6
Feb 25, 2013, 04:15 PM
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Instagram...
 Never heard of it.
__________________
If we believe we can't lose Even mountains will move It's my faith, it's my life This is our battle cry! -Skillet |
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#7
Feb 25, 2013, 04:33 PM
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It's really cool |
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#8
Feb 26, 2013, 02:32 PM
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__________________
I get fed, don't worry.   (Buddy putting in his 2bits worth)
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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