[precious things]

I....uh....still so hard to write this out but I experienced CSA by different people growing up. It's taken many years to allow myself to begin to see it and begin to examine those experiences. I never fully forgot, but I never let my adult self think about it much either. I feel completely confident , would put my hand to a bible or swear in a court of law with most of my memories.

However.....there is one flashback or image I have that stands alone....I have no context for it ( meaning with other memories I know how the events more or less unfolded, what was said, most of what took place, etc). BUt not this one.

This image is the one that is the most disturbing and the one I see the most, yet it feels like I have absolutely no proof or trail that leads me to how this could have happen.

Is it possible that because I had the other things my mind just created this one thing to represent it all? I mean, obviously no one here can tell me if this thing did or did not happen, but is it odd that I would remember the others with such clarity (albeit decades later) and not believe this one?

I guess I am asking is it possible to have had this awful thing happen and just completely and totally block it out?

[Perna]

Our minds can "remember" things that did not happen equally as well as they can not remember things that did. You could have made up a composite for yourself or it could be a memory and you don't have details or it could be just wholly a fiction.

What happened is not really as important as how you feel and what you are doing with your thoughts and memories. There's a lot of good studies on the subject of memory, maybe one such as this will be interesting/help you?

The cognitive neuroscience of constructive memory: remembering the past and imagining the future