Molestation VS Rape

Can both be equally traumatising? I think everyone thinks that being molested is no big deal. It is very heart breaking especially when you are suffering from symptoms of ptsd and you cannot bring yourself to tell anyone even your doctor.

"I think everyone thinks that being molested is no big deal".
That's a complete load of doodaa!

I'm having trouble finding the correct words for what I'm trying to say, so bear with me.

Whilst I'd agree that, in general, molestation is a smaller crime than rape, that does NOT mean "it's no big deal". Both are abusive and whilst one can be more severe than the other, it's still abuse. The affect on the victim can be just as bad whatever form the abuse takes.

On the other side, the attitude of "it was only molestation", somewhat lets the abuser off
and that can encourage them to do it again when they should be punished.

Please try to talk to your doctor, it may help them understand more about your ptsd and enable them to provide better treatment.

I am afraid of getting the same reaction from him.

I think that molestation is worse. It is ongoing and you are only a child.

That's where the problem lies in. People don't believe me because i am a child.

You told on your mom's husband and you were believed.

Katie that is definitly molestation. And you need to tell someone.

Hmm. Sigh

If you find it difficult to say the words, try writing them or print them from this site if they're on here. Its often easier to write them at home in comfort than it is to say them to a doctor. I know its hard but if it helps the doc get you the support you need, thats gotta be worth it. Hasnt it?

Molestation is the worst kind of rape and anyone who tries to minimize the impact it has on its victims is either ignorant, stupid or just plain evil.

I don't think that being molested is no big deal at all!

I do think that rape is more socially outstanding though ~ whereas, molestation has a tendency to be swept under the rug and hidden from everyone for years from fear of losing care of others. It's freaking sick! Those molesters ought to get a whole lot more time in prison than they do now. That's a behavior that is extremely difficult to "grow out of".

Glad that people here share my views as all the people around me has been telling me it is not a big deal.

((( kittycat97 ))) ...

Unfortunately there are far too many ignorant, stupid and evil people around.

I'd also like to say that in my earlier post I hadn"t considered the usual long term nature of molestation. To anyone that has suffered this form of abuse or anyone I offended, I wholeheartedly apologise.

I almost got raped by my father and my mother said that it is ok.

How do I tell my doctor that i just got molested last year and i have ptsd from it? He's a guy btw...

Kittycat,
I am so sorry you have had to go through that terrible ordeal. There is no excuse for it and it is most definitely a big deal.

As for the doctor. Are there any female docs at the same surgery? I'm in the UK and over here you have the right to ask for a female doctor and/or have a female nurse in the room as a chaperone.

I only get to see a female doctor if i report it to the police... It is for her to interview me to write a report...

I think both can be equally as devastating. Studies have shown that if a child is molested before age 7 or 8 and if the perpetrator is a close family member or friend, the trauma may be harder to work through. If a child is able to tell someone and is supported, that can go a long way to aid in the healing. There are also statistics that have shown children who have been molested are at greater risk of being raped as an adult. In my eyes, both are terrible violations and crimes and it takes a long time, as well as great courage, to heal. You know your own truth and no matter what anyone else says, you will always find support here.

What is the hardest part of telling him kitty?

I think it is the awkwardness and the fear of hearing him sigh...

And if he sighed it would mean that this isn't a problem and you are trouble?

Your issue IS important!

I don't think that there is anything wrong with awkward. Awkward is normal for things like this. I have done and said many things feeling awkward. I would never let it stop me from doing anything.

I feel really depressed when i hear all these professionals sigh. Am i a burden to them ?

Quite scared to tell now... I told my child protection officer about this through email and she replied to tell me she will be coming over my place in 15- 20 mins time! I was so shocked and scared that i ended up having a panic attack and hiding away from her.

Oh Kitty!
I can't imagine how hard it is to talk about these things, but I really think it would help you. You need to get these issues out there, so the professionals can give you the help you need and deserve. I don't know any details, but I'm sure they have heard many stories similar to yours in their professional lives. You are not alone in going through this.

Try sending your Child Protection Officer another email. Apologise and tell her you had a panic attack. She'll understand. If she says she'll be there in 20 mins again, maybe try distracting yourself. Concentrate on taking deep breaths whilst you wait. Anything to stop you hiding again. Maybe give her a call so she can keep talking to you whilst she's on her way to stop you hiding again?

Good luck. My thoughts are with you.