Childhood Friends Remembered

Feel free to post about your thoughts or memories about your childhood friends. I'll definitely read your replies.

I particularly don't need support on this topic. I just need to vent a little of my sadness. Of course, your two cents are welcome!

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Last night I couldn't go to sleep for a few hours because I kept thinking about my childhood friends.

I had two very close neighborhood girlfriends when I was ages 7 to 14. Every day, I was hanging out with one of these girls or both. When I entered high school, I slowly lost contact with them.

It hurts to this day that I don't have a relationship with these ladies. I realize now it was my secrets of my abuse that prevented us from staying friends.

The last time I remember seeing both women together was in 1995. I was 23 yrs old. We all went to Casa Ole' at the mall. The other two ladies remained close friends throughout the years. I was outsider. But, it did/does not matter to me. I love these women unconditionally. I very much enjoyed our time together.

The last time I met up with the younger of the two ladies is a time when I talked a lot about the past with her. Eventually, she had to go but before she left she started crying. I felt horrible.

The last time I saw the older of two ladies is when we went to a Tori Amos concert in New Jersey in 2002. I enjoyed every minute being around her. I talked too much. She barely disclosed anything about her self. I figured it would be rude to ask her personal info, so I refrained from asking too many questions. I emailed her a few times but she eventually stopped responding.

I pretty much didn't take either ladies' behavior personally until last night. I sent birth announcements of my son to their parents (to forward to their daughters) but never received any response.

I miss them. Are they so busy that they can't email me a little "hi, how are you and the baby doing?" Do they not like me? Have I hurt them? Am I pain? a bother?

I know people change. But, I think I know these girls enough to know they'd never do anything to hurt anyone. They are wonderful people.

The last thing I heard about them is one is a counselor for HIV patients and the other a social worker combating homelessness.

I miss them.

((((( jennie )))))

I'm sorry. I do understand.

Maybe you opened up their own wounds.

It's not you, sometimes it's them and their own issues.

I have lost the same childhood (teenage) friend a few times over.

I can't bring myself to write about it now .. but I miss her!

We have (would have been) friends for more than 25 years. I really miss her!

Jenne,

I often sit up late at night and think of my childhood friends..or even as of late, my older highschool to college friends, some of whom you even met. ALL of whom I have lost touch with, and for good reasons I suppose. But I too look back to the good ones..the ones that were always there..the ones that produced good memories..the ones that I laughed with and shared my life and family with..I too know that my experiences through life drove those friends away..and I don't blame them..but I too miss them dearly..unlike you, I have chosen not to look for them..for I fear the rejection, although in my case, warranted. You know what is even funnier..is I even think about the ones that didn't like me at all when I was younger, I still to this day think about why it was as a child that they didn't like me..I mean I was a freaking KID..
Anyways, not only do I find myself thinking about old friends..I find myself dreaming about people I haven't thought about in ages..but like I said it is the ones from highschool and college..Our little Pensacola friend is one..my lifetime bestfriend gone..so I know...my advice to you is to do what Ive done with you..DON'T GIVE UP..KEEP TRYING..AND KEEP BUGGING..THEY WILL COME AROUND..THEY WILL SEE IN THE END THAT YOU DON'T REALLY WANT ANY THING IN RETURN ANY MORE..YOU JUST WANT TO AN OLD FRIEND BACK!

(((((((((((Jennie)))))))))))))

You are not alone. I sometimes can't help thinking about my child and teen age friends. I have DID and when children are in abuse situations and are imagining themselves out of the situation by imagining the abuse is happening to someone else they imagine that person to be who is in their life during that timeframe. So some of my memory pieses are known as names of my friends.

Well one day I decided tostart looking for two particular friends. 25 years later thanks to public records and the computer age we live in I located one of thoise friends in New Orleans. We are now in touch with each other.

Nothing is impossible. you can find those missing friends one way or another, it takes deturmination and following lots of little strings but eventually you will find the rope that is connected on the other end to your friends. Start out with the name you knew the person as and the last known address. from there there will aways be a string or two to take you on the way to that rope. phone directories are free as long as the person does not have an unlisted number which will also give you addresses, and then for a small fee by pay pal you can have the unlisted number, Birthday sites will also get you what you need if you know the person. I located my friend just by typing in her name in the yahoo seach bar and the legal agency in which she worked at came up with her last name as one of the people working there. I emailed to this person with the same last name that I once knew someone with that initialed first name and same last name and wanted to know if she was who I was looking for. She emailed back immediately saying yes and told me things that only she and I knew from when I knew her 25 years ago. She went through katrina and after a bit I was again able to locate her.

you follow those leads you find and not get discouraged when no leads are being found and you will soon be talking to your friends again - good luck. and hang in there.

its strange how we often think of past friends in our lives. i do that, and i do miss them, they mean so much to us as children, they play such a huge part in our lives, so its never easy to just forget someone so quickly.

recently i have remembered someone a little more parculiar...when i was 14 my mother died and my tutor in school at the time was Miss Westcott, she was wonderful to me, she was so supportive, and even though she never knew about my abuse as a child, she always saw so much more to me than others did. i suppose you could say i was a teachers pet, i nevr had many friends in high school, no one really wanted to know me after mum died, it probably made them feel uncomfortable. i will never hold it against them, we were so young at the time, how can 14 year olds be expected to offer so much support. i am 19 years old now, have been out of school for about 3, nearly 4 years, and i now, only keep in touch with 1 of my high school friends, and rarely, 2 of my juniour school friends.

but it is Miss Westcott i would love to get back in touch with, she moved far away 1 year after my mum died and she left me a note saying something along the lines of "Simon, i am so proud of you, i have learnt as much from you as i hope you have from me, you are truly inspirational, and i will never forget you. i wish you all the best in future years, and i will be keeping an eye on you." which was very touching at the time. i dont quite know how to get back in touch, i would love to, just so we could chat, i could tell her how much ive progressed through life, and we could be friends again, but this time, not as teacher/pupil, just ordinary friends. she was only about 24 at the time, so she would be about 29 now. but it is best not to raise hopes, as if it doesnt work out how we hoped, it isnt so heart-breaking. although it can be easy to get so excited.

i do often wonder how she is, and i did try to look her up on the internet but it led to nothing as i didnt know where to look, but reading this post has inspired me to try again, so i think i will tonight. thanks for that guys.

hope all is good, and keep those memories of past friends treasured, they are never to be forgotten. sometimes friendships dont last, its not something we should feel upset about, as its just part of growing up. friendship is always different when we are young, its so much easier, no complications. but it is true friends that shine through and these are the ones we keep for life.

" it is true friends that shine through and these are the ones we keep for life." Simply Simon

Very well put!! I know when I stopped thinking about all the ones that I lost and started focusing on all the ones that I still had, my world got brighter! Not that I miss my friends from my past less..but I focus on my friends that are here in the present much more than I did before..I no longer dwell on the mistakes I made with those friends of the past..I took from those relationships both the good and the bad and I learned how to improve the ones that I have today so that I don't make those same mistakes that did before..and so I can keep the friendships that I have today..for a lifetime.

Thanks Myself and Jennie, you are very brave to open up and finding your friends. I too have been thinking about old friends, and though I am fortunate enough to have kept one, other friendships have not made it. There is one person, however, you have inspired me to contact. He was so special to me as a teenager, and I never told him what a smile he brought to my heart and soul. I never said much at all to him, because I was so afraid of everyone and everything. But now I know everyone here is going through the same thing, so thanks for helping me.

i had to leave my friends when i left home because there was no truth i was "allowed" to tell them about my life. All the secrets piled up into a wall of nothing left to talk about.

"How are you?" was a loaded question to ask me. I had to cut and run across the ountry to find a place where i could telll the freaking truth for a change.

They musta felt dumped. I dropped a line to one, my neighborhood best friend my whole childhood, after 35 years of ABRUPT silence and have yet to get a response.....

I apologize that I keep coming back and commenting on this forum..I guess this has just hit some nerves with me...

Hillbunny..some of what you said hit home with me as well..When I turned 18, I took off and kept on going..since then I have moved some 27 times..I like to try and tell myself that I have friends all over the world..but in all reality..would any of them drop what they were doing and come and be with me should I need them? The truth is, I doubt it..and that really hurts me. But I have no one to blame for that but myself. I kept people at a distance for so long..if they tried to get close I would push them away..or simply tell them lies..make up stories so that they would not have an inkling of what the truth was..and if they did come close..I would run..move to a new place and start over..but there are a few that saw right through me, I believe..and a few that I wish I had let in..and a few that I miss dearly..and one particular that I remembered just yesterday how I left it..What makes me so mad is that I forgot..I never forgot how good a person she was..or how much fun we had..but I forgot that horrible night and how we left our friendship..and how I just left her..Thats what I do best...I leave..I split..and I tell myself its okay to forget..because that is how you move on..I stayed up most of the night..thinking..and knowing I wont try and look for her..admiring that you and Jenne at least had the guts to look and reach out to your old friends regardless of the outcome! Knowing how hard that must have been..not knowing what would happen..what will happen! Anyways, just needed to get this out..((((((JENNE)))))) ((((((HILLBUNNY))))))

She emailed me back, she emailed me back!

I found her email address through . I emailed her yesterday. She said she received the birth announcement but lost it in a move. No problemo! She wrote me back, she wrote me back. It's been 10 years since we last spoken. You know, that's a decade??? Wow!

I'm sooo happy right now!

((((((((((((((((((((((JENNE)))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am sooo happy for you!! That is wonderful!! I just knew that if she knew you like I knew you that she wouldn't let you go as a friend!!!! Good for her!!! I am thrilled for you and so happy that you are happy!!!

((((((((((((jennie))))))))))))))))))))))

how wonderful!!!!!!!

I had similar experience I had 1 real close friend sense 5th grade we both got abused by the same guy at the same time so we watched each other we were friends for along time until it all came out in high school I got another friend in high school who had no idea what happened and I spent alot of time with her. my best friend from 5th grade we drifted away I wanted a relationship with her but she just never wanted to do anything we didn't even talk about what happened to us. She droped out of school and so I never saw her I saw her when I was 21 but it was ackward and after that we just lost contact. my other friend we were real close until a year ago when I felt it was just a relationship that she loved to show off to me and make me jealous that she had a boyfriend and I didn't so now I don't have them and I miss it so much it hurts alot. to know there gone.

I wonder so many times if my childhood friends still think of me. All of us are thinking about them, so they are probably also thinking about us!

I remember my friends from when I was very small because that was the only happy and carefree time in my life. Maybe it's the insecurity that haunts us that makes us push people away and afraid to look them up again. I have only one friend left from school, and though we don't see each other much, we will always be friends. But out of all the people I have met, I can't help wondering why I only have one left? Growing up is a weird thing, and we all grow in different directions. Don't take it personally if old friends don't return your messages, you never know what happened in their lives up to now. It's refreshing to know that so many people are missing their old friends, it gives me hope that maybe my old friends are missing me!

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TanyaGrave said:
It's refreshing to know that so many people are missing their old friends, it gives me hope that maybe my old friends are missing me!

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