[BrokenNBeautiful]

How many ppl here have trouble saying it back?

I feel fake when I say it back sometimes.

tonight, I said to Arvind, "Thank you." when he said "I love you".

He got kind of mad.

And I told him, "You know I do; I am just not in the mood for love right now."

He got it, but he was still hurt.

do you have to say "I love you, too?" I feel fake sometimes if I say it. I do love Arvind, but I am not always in the mood!

Carol

Who's Arvind?

I get you though, and normally I just say thanks until she pressures me into responding properly. It's all in good fun with us though, there are no hurt feelings.

[H3rmit]

I can say it, but why should I? It doesn't come naturally to me at all. That word is quite tainted by how I've seen it used all my life. I've never had much use for it. For me, actions speak louder than words, and my actions speak many times a day. However, I do use the word because my H likes to hear it. I try to do it only when I feel okay about it. Sometimes it comes out half-cracked. That's the way it goes. Words are strange things.

So, yeah, I agree with you.

[optimize990h]

BrokenNBeautiful, I think how you explained makes it fine if you don't want to feel fake.

I rarely get told I love you and when it done it is whispered. So it means a lot more to me then if the person feels it.

[Raindropvampire]

I get what you are saying but I know how it feels to say it and not get the response I hoped for. So whether I want to or not I always say it back to my H. I'd never want him to feel that hurt that I know oh so well. I'd rather feel fake than him feel hurt.

[shezbut]

I have a very hard time saying those words myself.

At least half the time, when my bf says the words to me I smile at him and thank him. I know that he wants to hear the same words from me though, so sometimes I am able to let them come out naturally. Those times are wonderful, but especially rare!! Other times, I push myself to whisper that I love him too. The whisper feels easier to say for me, for some unknown reason.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

Who's Arvind?

I get you though, and normally I just say thanks until she pressures me into responding properly. It's all in good fun with us though, there are no hurt feelings.

Arvind is a friend. We have romantic feelings for each other and I am not sure---maybe you could say we are sort of dating. We are not having s*x, but there is a romantic thing going. I am doing something new---being friends.

We say "I love you" to each other, because that's how we feel, but sometimes I don't say it back. I don't always feel like it.

Maybe my signature can help explain?

[Sannah]

Do you understand why you feel fake?

I can definitely understand the feeling. It's a hard thing for me to say too. Frankly I have a rough time showing any affection to anyone, even my fiance. It's been an issue for us but I've learned to slowly be more comfortable being affectionate (including saying I love you) and he understands how hard it is for me so he can deal with it when I can't be affectionate. It's hard on him but at the end of the day we're both ok. It's hard to get used to expressing my genuine affection for him and sometimes that makes me seem awkward or insincere about it but as long as I'm being honest it generally works out.

[LipsSewnShut]

I say it and tell myself that I mean it because I will always love him for the kids we gave me. That's all I do with everyone. Think of one thing I love about them and say "I love you" knowing that I still mean it.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Do you understand why you feel fake?

i feel like i still have so much healing to do that I am not sure I have room to be loving to him.

thanks,

Carol

[lifelesstraveled]

Originally Posted by BrokenNBeautiful

How many ppl here have trouble saying it back?

I feel fake when I say it back sometimes.

tonight, I said to Arvind, "Thank you." when he said "I love you".

He got kind of mad.

And I told him, "You know I do; I am just not in the mood for love right now."

He got it, but he was still hurt.

do you have to say "I love you, too?" I feel fake sometimes if I say it. I do love Arvind, but I am not always in the mood!

Carol

I completely understand

I actually don't like the word--it makes me uncomfortable.

it's a struggle to say it and hear it. It's a struggle to say it because I don't feel it, and feel like I'm just saying it because it's appropriate to or bc I should. And it's a struggle to hear someone say it because I don't believe the person. At 30 years old, I don't think I know what it feels like--to feel loved or to love someone. Which sounds awful and it's a little embarrassing.