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#1
Mar 30, 2013, 08:14 PM
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I've been raped and abused by a few people. A couple of years ago, I met someone who I thought I could trust, and he abused me, as well. I am now with a man I have been with for 2 years, and he is wonderful, but I cannot bring myself to trust him because of my past. I am trying to work on this with my social worker, and I wrote this poem to the man who abused me in my previous relationship that I trusted. I feel that it is because of this that I have all of these issues, I have been violated so much. Let me know what you think, it's just venting! And I do hope I can trust again.
“Never” Pain Ripping writhing burning screaming Love Laughing living sunlight breathing You took my light Replaced it with emptiness You made me look twice in the mirror Stabbed and gutted Dragged and stomped Spit on and broken To put myself back together again After the attacks you embarked on my body and my soul I rose up and fought For myself and my future To prove them wrong That I would once again fly I mended my wings I glued myself back together After they all mauled me… After they left me to die. Someone will love me again Someone will love me… I can be loved I know it He won’t do what they did, All of those years weren’t for nothing Look, I found someone good God is smiling at me God does love me After all of that I found someone to love me And He won’t do what they did. My pieces glued back together I am shiny and new, now My wings mended I can trust again I fought for that I clawed to build myself up To mend my broken soul Bare knuckles and blood As I built the strength To trust again Because he won’t hurt me See? I can do it I won They were all wrong… I can be loved. He loves me, now. I have him And he will never do what they did I can be happy now, forever It is safe to be happy Shattered glass Cut yourself in front of me Tell me its my fault Scream at me Tell me, tell me I’m a **** A *****, a bigot, I’m stupid I’m worthless, It’s my fault you want to kill yourself No one will ever love me Black my eyes Then do it again to me again Again AGAIN. Bruise my arms My face Bloody my lips Throw me through glass Choke me on the bed I bought for us Our beautiful bed Get on top of me and choke me Pin me down My eyes start to bulge My tongue is coming out I am turning purple, now. I don’t want to die, Please, let me go… Darkness I wake up Tears down my face, I can’t feel my body Am I dead? Did death finally take me? No I see you You are crying, you tell me love me Was this a dream? It was a bad dream Because you wouldn’t do this to me, You are my hero now, remember? Because you could never do what they did, right? Please, stop crying…. Who is that girl in the mirror? Why is she crying? Is she singing? Is she dying? She is dying. He will never hurt me He could never hurt me Never again will it happen again. Never ever believe the word “never” Last edited by FooZe; Apr 07, 2013 at 04:22 PM. Reason: added trigger icon |
 mysticalbeing1760, Paige008
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#2
Mar 31, 2013, 07:48 PM
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Wow, powerful poem. Hope you will be able to trust again and glad you have found a wonderful partner. I am so afraid of relationships that I fear I will be alone forever. Best wishes.
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#3
Mar 31, 2013, 09:36 PM
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I really relate to these feelings.
really appreciate this. I hear that we can trust again. That people can still love us. The abusers just give us this terrible message that we can't be loved. I am working on this, too. Carol
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The idea of a soul mate is an ILLUSION. In reality, we must learn to be our own best friend/partner. Then if love comes to us, we will already be whole. All that love can do, at that point, is enhance our wholeness!  |
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#4
Apr 01, 2013, 08:31 AM
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The feelings and pain definitely come through in this. It's a very moving and powerful poem.
I understand. I think things WILL get better for you - and stay that way.
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#5
Apr 05, 2013, 10:39 AM
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I write lots and lots of poetry too. Sometimes it helps, sometimes not so much, but that poem really resonated with me and I hope that you know that you are not alone.
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Mskty2005 |
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#6
Apr 07, 2013, 02:05 PM
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Quote:
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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