[Little Me]

Feel so alone and in another world that is cold and dark. I do feel better on weekends. And the sun is out. So I have some hope for today but the past week was so dreadful. Drinking more to ease the pain.

[winter4me]

what/who do you have for support? please remember alcohol is a depressant and may seem to ease the pain but will really worsen the sadness/depression and keep you from the struggle that needs to engage you.
sunshine does help doesn't it? this winter has been especially bad, even, i am told, for people who don't usually react to the seasons. take care.

[Leed]

Please, Little me --- don't drink! Like winter4me said, alcohol is a depressant and it makes you feel worse in the long run. Plus, you could cross that "invisible line" into alcoholism and you don't NEED that extra problem! Alcoholism is awful -- I am one, but I'm in recovery and I never want to go back to that awful life. You never know when you're going to cross that line. So don't drink, my friend. It might make you feel better while you're drinking, but later on you're going to feel awful. And it just makes your problems worse.

If you need to talk, we're here. Someone is always here. So please, just talk to us. Even if you just want to chat or something. But don't isolate, or drink.

Take care of yourself my friend. And God bless. Hugs, Lee

[Sannah]

What made the week so hard?

[Little Me]

Originally Posted by Sannah

What made the week so hard?

Things are crushing in on me and I'm depressed. Teaching is hard for me and going public with my abuse has me constantly reliving everything. I don't have friends because I've isolated myself. I do have 2 awesome therapists. But I can't see them every day all day.

[Little Me]

Originally Posted by Leed

Please, Little me --- don't drink! Like winter4me said, alcohol is a depressant and it makes you feel worse in the long run. Plus, you could cross that "invisible line" into alcoholism and you don't NEED that extra problem! Alcoholism is awful -- I am one, but I'm in recovery and I never want to go back to that awful life. You never know when you're going to cross that line. So don't drink, my friend. It might make you feel better while you're drinking, but later on you're going to feel awful. And it just makes your problems worse.

If you need to talk, we're here. Someone is always here. So please, just talk to us. Even if you just want to chat or something. But don't isolate, or drink.

Take care of yourself my friend. And God bless. Hugs, Lee

I so need to talk and I do feel alone.
Depressed.

[justmemaybe]

Originally Posted by Little Me

Feel so alone and in another world that is cold and dark. I do feel better on weekends. And the sun is out. So I have some hope for today but the past week was so dreadful. Drinking more to ease the pain.

Dear ((((Little Me))))))))))))))))))))))) Your not alone. Not here. Ive been abused. Drank to try to cope with it. It doesnt work. When you are sober the pain is still there. You dont want to cross the line.
Talk all you want. Pm me if you want too.
Also know the sun does make things better. I tan to try to help ,.it always does.
Talking helps more.

[Sannah]

Are you discussing and problem solving these things with your therapists?

[picklewheeze]

Hugss! Im sprry you feel like this. I know how dreadful it is when yoi first come out with your abuse. But thats the first amazing step to a better life, it really is! Youre nor alone. As you become biggger and bigger your isolation will shrink. I think my depression was a constant battle between wanting to be alone but not wanting to feel it. The suppprt here has helped me to feel kess alone.. I hope it can help you too.

Remember, when.its lught look for the rainbow, when its dark look for the stars.

There still out there.

[Little Me]

Originally Posted by justmemaybe

Dear ((((Little Me))))))))))))))))))))))) Your not alone. Not here. Ive been abused. Drank to try to cope with it. It doesnt work. When you are sober the pain is still there. You dont want to cross the line.
Talk all you want. Pm me if you want too.
Also know the sun does make things better. I tan to try to help ,.it always does.
Talking helps more.

I'm trying to be careful. Exercise is my thing and I do it all the time but I still feel so depressed. Work is terrible and stressful. Usually I improve on weekends. Working with teenagers all day is a stress and a reminder. Thanks so much for being here. Wish I saw a message like this earlier in the day. I was barely making it and faking it.

[Little Me]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Are you discussing and problem solving these things with your therapists?

Yes I am. I never want to leave and then feel so alone and awful when I do. Working on that too. I feel like I need help everyday.

[Little Me]

Originally Posted by picklewheeze

Hugss! Im sprry you feel like this. I know how dreadful it is when yoi first come out with your abuse. But thats the first amazing step to a better life, it really is! Youre nor alone. As you become biggger and bigger your isolation will shrink. I think my depression was a constant battle between wanting to be alone but not wanting to feel it. The suppprt here has helped me to feel kess alone.. I hope it can help you too.

Remember, when.its lught look for the rainbow, when its dark look for the stars.

There still out there.

Thank you. I forgot there was support here for a couple of months and I've been alone. I don't like relying on others because that can be so disappointing. Sometimes I feel so quiet I don't know what to say. Maybe......help is all I can think of and I don't want to be posting needy things all the time either. People will get sick of me.

[Open Eyes]

((Little Me)),

You are not a bother at all, if you need to talk, that is what the forums are for.
How about aside from your T if you found a small support group too? A live support group where you can meet others who struggle like you, can make friends that can understand you, or just have a place other then T to go and talk and share where you are not alone.

On the bright side, school is almost out, it is spring already and not much more to the year. You get summer's off right?

[Sannah]

We want to help you. We will not get sick of you.

[winter4me]

Hang in there, keep working with the t's, ---- has the teaching always been difficult for you or is this new? Do you have a creative outlet? Exercise is good too---keep that up.
Is dealing with/talking about/acknowledging the abuse recent? What do you have planned for the summer? Enough questions. Hugs.

[picklewheeze]

Originally Posted by Little Me

Thank you. I forgot there was support here for a couple of months and I've been alone. I don't like relying on others because that can be so disappointing. Sometimes I feel so quiet I don't know what to say. Maybe......help is all I can think of and I don't want to be posting needy things all the time either. People will get sick of me.

I say things like this all the time, but we wont.. You deserve to be listened to and heard. Vent onto here as much as you like, even if you dont get a response it'll still be read and heard. I know the disappointments of relying on others well, so many people will throw you a rope but then get bored of holding the other end. Its difficult, I hope you can find someone more supportive. You'll find support here.

[Little Me]

I've tried to find a support group but don't think there is anything here. I'm really afraid to develop friendships and too busy. It is hard having only my therapists (2 of which are awesome).
Yes, I have summer off but our school goes until the end of June because of so many snow days. Seems so far away.
Today was a better day than in a long time. Even with the stress of grades being due tomorrow and I have to present an hour long seminar on Friday but then I am leaving with my daughter to go on a college visiting tour during April vacation next week. We've never been away together and it should be very interesting. She is very quiet too.
I've been worrying about how to make it day to day at work and I think today is the 1st day I didn't panic about it.

[Little Me]

Originally Posted by picklewheeze

I say things like this all the time, but we wont.. You deserve to be listened to and heard. Vent onto here as much as you like, even if you dont get a response it'll still be read and heard. I know the disappointments of relying on others well, so many people will throw you a rope but then get bored of holding the other end. Its difficult, I hope you can find someone more supportive. You'll find support here.

I think the past couple of days have felt a little better because of the support here. I remember I felt better when I was a regular a few months back but then I got so sick of myself and what I was saying I decided to be quiet.

[Little Me]

Originally Posted by winter4me

Hang in there, keep working with the t's, ---- has the teaching always been difficult for you or is this new? Do you have a creative outlet? Exercise is good too---keep that up.
Is dealing with/talking about/acknowledging the abuse recent? What do you have planned for the summer? Enough questions. Hugs.

Teaching has always been difficult for me. It is a 3rd career. Kept my abuse secret for 35 years, so only the past couple of years have I talked and more recently have been able to talk to my therapists. It is taking forever for me to deal with this and it is hitting me hard. Beginning to realize the losses as well.
I have relaxation and exercise planned for the summer. Thanks for asking questions. Makes it seem like you care.!!

[picklewheeze]

You don't have to get sick of it, we wont. Say all that you want to say here. We're all here because we chose to be and we want to support others and in return be supported ourselves.

I'm sorry to hear how lonely you feel, is it just you and your daughter? How old is she? How old are you if you don't mind me asking?

I dont know where you're from and how the support is in your area but I'm sorry if theres not much there for you. I hope you can find something helpful, it might not even be a direct support group. Sometimes volunteering as part of a charity organisation or something can really help you feel part of something and its so rewarding. I used to volunteer at a riding for the disabled association and its amazing how clsoe you can become with strangers over time. Its just an interestign way to meet new people. Just a thought.