[Lovelyfromafar]

When I was 13, I spent the night at my friends house. It was just me and her there and her brother was in the living room. I remember it being a normal fun night just being girls. The strange thing happened the next day. I woke up feeling completely different.

I woke up and I was extremely anxious. I had never experienced social anxiety before. I was always outgoing and fun. Since that day I have had social anxiety disorder. I am now 24.

I'm wondering if something happened to me that night and my mind blocked it out. Since then, my mind has blocked out two experiences I've been through that were horrible. One experience I was attacked and I remember right before being attacked and immediately afterwards but nothing else. So I know that my mind is capable of doing that and has before.*

I just feel that maybe her brother did something to me that night. I remember waking up not where I had fallen asleep and something just felt so so strange.

I just want to know could my mind have blocked something out and that could explain why since then I've been completely different.

Please respond if you have any good advice. I've been thinking about it lately. Thank you guys!! I appreciate the input.*

(I've been considering hypnotherapy. My dad had hypnotherapy done on him 20 years ago to quit smoking and it worked so I'm hoping I am susceptible to it as well.)

[Lovelyfromafar]

I'm at my last strand and I was looking for some answers but I guess everyone is too busy to offer up even one lousy opinion.

[tinyrabbit]

I'm sorry you feel upset about not receiving a reply yet. Please bear in mind that people on PC are posting from different countries/timezones, and the survivors section can be a little slow at times. Have patience. I for one have only just seen your post.

Nobody can tell you what did or didn't happen, because we weren't there. It is entirely possible that your mind could have blocked something out, but we can't tell you for definite, as we're not you!

I would strongly advise against any kind of hypnotherapy. It's not recommended for memory recall. It's fine for something like smoking, which is an addiction, but it is absolutely not advised for repressed memories. It's not an appropriate way to recover them and also means you would never be able to press charges if you wanted to, as memories recovered under hypnosis are generally not admissable.

You would be better off with talk therapy/counselling, and I do think it would be worth trying. But I just can't tell you for definite if you've blocked something out or not, I'm sorry.

[shezbut]

((Lovelyfromafar))

I am also sorry that more people haven't responded yet. This forum does run in waves of sorts. Sometimes, there is lots of activity and support. Other times, lots of people post their troubles, but don't respond much to others. It is hard ~ but please don't lose hope and patience.

I agree with tinyrabbit about your hope for hypnotherapy. I'm not sure that it would be particularly helpful to you, in this case. Humans are known to be very suggestive, so trying to trigger a memory through hypnotherapy can be pretty dangerous.

Personally, I do have a history of repressing painful experiences & emotions. Occasionally, a slight memory would be triggered by something I saw or heard on tv (or whatever), and I'd immediately go into panic mode. I was terrified and couldn't really understand why. I had slight memories of inappropriate events pop into my head and I'd try with all of my might to forget them. I hated those times with a passion! I often misunderstood the trigger and what it meant ~ as I'd jump to conclusions that my intense fear during intimacy meant that I was gay. That wasn't true for me...and it has taken me a lot of T (therapy) to understand the cause of my panic & what I need to do when it strikes.

I really advise you to seek a counselor that practices CBT, DBT, or psychotherapy. Or a mixture of the different types to help you work through these experiences, without placing "false memories" into your head. If you aren't already, you may also want to see a pDoc every now and then for medication to help you fight intense anxiety moments. The pDoc would be the one to tell your possible dissociative experiences as well.

Very gentle hugs and best wishes to you!

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I wish I had not been sick. I would have answered you. I know how that feels. I do.

And I also relate to what you said.

I went thru something, too, I think, when I was 3 or 4. I think the neighbors abused me and also a babysitter? Not sure. But I know something bad happened. I am in the process of recovering memories.

I can't really advise you on therapy methods, because everyone is different, but I can relate to what you talked about.

All I can basically say is what my own mentor said to me this week. Go very slow and easy. Don't try to remember until your mind is ready to tell you. This can be very overwhelming. And if and when you do recover it, get lots of support. Post here or see someone you trust. It doesn't even have to be a professional. It can be a friend.

Carol