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Member
Member Since Jul 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 35
18 |
Sep 08, 2006 at 06:11 PM
#1
Right now my question in all things is, "Does it ever get easier?"
I feel like I'm barely staying above water. This weekend I have an event to attend in which my abuser will be there. I've never handled it well in the past... I can't see this time being much different. I have to go though.. somehow I have to find a way to be strong. Ugh.. I hate this. __________________ “People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.” Elizabeth Kubler- Ross |
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Sep 08, 2006 at 06:15 PM
#2
Yea it does get easier. maybe you can invite a friend to go with you so that you are not at the event alone.
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Sep 08, 2006 at 09:12 PM
#3
god, I hope so.
for me it comes and goes in waves, because I havent completely dealt with it. I get triggered and im back to the drawing board. but we can be here for each other! |
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Member
Member Since May 2006
Posts: 34
18 |
Sep 08, 2006 at 10:31 PM
#4
yes it does get easier . There will be those triggers in life that bring it all back to the surface . In my case each time it gets shorter and shorter . This has come with a lot of therapy and looking my issues in the face . To me it is like a wild beast that I am trying to tame , there is no gaurantee that it will not bite me again . With time and work I can pet it and the bites become less severe. I hope that makes sense to you . Take care of you .
Sher |
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Elder
Member Since Jul 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 5,212
18 
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Sep 09, 2006 at 09:30 AM
#5
I'm struggling with the same question bluebythewater, but as I see the progress some of the members made I must conclude that yes... it does get easier. But the sad thing is we have to take certain leaps into the abyss first. We don't just wake up one day and everything is easier, it gets easier because of the choices we made to move forward... and that's not easy at all!
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Member
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: ,england
Posts: 71
18 |
Sep 09, 2006 at 03:33 PM
#6
it does get easier
but it takes time, i still do not think i am over it and i am 32 yr old mum of 3, you have to think positive and you are a strong person to come this far and still face your abuser you are very brave and i commend you for this ,you show that you can still live a happy life going to this event and i wish you well keep smiling __________________  Keep smiling |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Aug 2003
Posts: 560
21 |
Sep 09, 2006 at 06:06 PM
#7
yes things do get easier if not just different. different in just having to deal with them with out becoming victim agin. brother inlaw most times when see oldest sister he is there.
mlyn |
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 1,392
18 |
Sep 10, 2006 at 10:29 AM
#8
yes
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Sep 10, 2006 at 11:09 AM
#9
Yes, it does. There's a process you have to go through first. It's kind of like settlement-all the pieces have to come down before you can take the next step. Standing there watching helplessly as these pieces fall to the ground is really hard but those pieces were never really yours in the first place or they were already damaged and useless.
It's going to be okay. You're a catipillar in a cocoon. It's going to take time before your wings develop. (((((((bluebythewater))))))))) |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 35
18 |
Sep 10, 2006 at 04:28 PM
#10
Just got home... it was terrible. I hate this. How come it's so hard now when before I was numb to it? Maybe I should have never talked... maybe I should have never opened up... it seemed easier that way...when I could just pretend.
__________________ “People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.” Elizabeth Kubler- Ross |
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Sep 10, 2006 at 06:22 PM
#11
No, it's good that you opened up. Just because you numb yourself to it's pain that doesn't mean that it's not effecting you.
Think of how you numb a toothache. It doesn't cure it-the tooth is still filled with decay and needs to be fixed and it'll only get worst if left untreated. ((((((bluebythewater)))))))) |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 35
18 |
Sep 10, 2006 at 07:16 PM
#12
I guess I never really thought about it that way. I know deep down it's good I finally opened up.. I just never dreamed it would be this hard to deal with it all and to finally..and hopefully...heal. Today is just a really bad day it's been a really bad week in general...Thanks guys for all the support and kind words.
__________________ “People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.” Elizabeth Kubler- Ross |
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Elder
Member Since Jul 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 5,212
18
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Sep 10, 2006 at 07:31 PM
#13
((((((((((( bluebythewater )))))))))))))
I hope this week will be better for you... __________________
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Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 1,392
18 |
Sep 11, 2006 at 11:23 AM
#14
healing is hard, exhausting, endless. But, it's the only option that makes sense.... and can be done.... and has been done.... and is being done.... and you can do it too!!!!!!
grounding and breathing. learning to sorta train yourself to ground and breath as your response to stimuli....... or memories...... or incidents that upset you..... has been invaluable to me in coping my way through life. Breaking old patterns leaves room to put in patterns that are useful in the now. Everything in you comes up for re-evaluatoin. It's a process. Welcome aboard. __________________ |
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