[jadedbutterfly]

The past two years, my parents have taken my niece (now 16) on a short vaca's and I have gone so she didn't have to share a hotel room with that sick f***.
They want to take another on in august.
It is so hard/damaging to myself to go on these 3-4 day trips. I feel an obligation to protect her. But she is 16 now, do they allow 16 yr olds to have their own hotel rooms??
I don't think I can handle doing this again this year. I have managed to stay out of the hospital for a few years now... and I am fearful that I am getting to the point of having to go in....
It's hard enough when he phones me when he is drunk. but to be in his presence just throws me over the edge
How do I get out of this trip without hurting my niece (who has no idea what he did to me when I was young).??

[Flooded]

Shes 16 so tell her.

[jadedbutterfly]

Originally Posted by Flooded

Shes 16 so tell her.

can't do that without starting a family war.

Does your sibling know? Shouldn't it be their responsibility to protect her? Or is the reason you feel responsible is that you have never told anyone?

[Eevvee]

It sounds like it's time to get it out, whether it starts a family war or not... for the protection of your niece.

[jadedbutterfly]

Originally Posted by Readytostop

Does your sibling know? Shouldn't it be their responsibility to protect her? Or is the reason you feel responsible is that you have never told anyone?

Yes my brother knows. and it is his responsibility. Thing is I am 8yrs and 11yrs younger than by brothers. I was adopted. We basically grew up in different households because of the age difference.
My niece is past my father's preferred age, yet he does hug her way to much.
When this has been brought up with any family member (not my father, I am not that brave) they all stop talking to me...like it was my fault, or they don't beleive me..I don't know which... but I lose everyone, and that is so damn hard.

[jadedbutterfly]

Originally Posted by Eevvee

It sounds like it's time to get it out, whether it starts a family war or not... for the protection of your niece.

she is passed his age at this point.
As for getting it out.... I can't. my mother did nothing when I cried out to her, she was in the next room, laying in bed either reading or doing her crossword puzzles... she would say "(his name) stop it"...his usal line back to her was "I'm just tickling her"....
He's 83, she's 79... I can't wait till they die.

[Eevvee]

That sounds like a tough situation. I feel like either way, you need to pull your niece aside and tell her what happened to you.... perhaps it has already happened to her, and it will help comfort her to know that someone else understands. If it hasn't, well, I have a hard time thinking that she wouldn't believe you if your father is getting a little to close with her. Why are your niece's parents letting her go on these trips? I assume that they are not aware of what happened. After you have a talk with your niece, perhaps she can tell her parents that she does not want to go.

I'm sorry this happened to you, and I hope you can get your story out to people who are close to you. I'm sure it will help you feel a lot better about everything when more people start taking your side. <3