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#1
Oct 14, 2013, 01:02 PM
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By some people's definitions, I was "sexually assaulted" when I was in my mid teens. However, I wasn't raped, forced to undress, or forced to touch him in any way.
He just touched me (legs, butt, waist,upper inner thighs, kind of crotch but I pushed him away really fast) and said he was going to come to my house and have sex with me. he never did though, thank goodness. I had my clothes on. But this went on for a year and I did NOTHING to stop it save for quietly saying "no" and gently pushing him away. People call this "sexual assault", but I just call this idiocy on my part. I had every means of stopping it and the knowledge of how to, but I didn't. I just let it happen. He hardly had to use any physical force except for pushing back only a little harder. I did practically nothing to stop him for almost an entire year. So, in my mind, this isn't "assault". Assault, in my mind, is rape or violent, forcefully sexual touching. Somehow what happened to me is included in that though. Don't you think the legal definition is too broad?
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"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" -Camus since feeling is first who pays any attention to the syntax of things will never wholly kiss you; wholly to be a fool while Spring is in the world- cummings Last edited by Confused213; Oct 14, 2013 at 01:16 PM. |
 blueredgrey, healingme4me
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#2
Oct 16, 2013, 09:19 AM
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No, I don't think it's too broad. I think you're minimising what happened to you.
Any unwanted touch is too much, that's the thing. It wasn't idiocy on your part. You couldn't stop it. He didn't use force because he was exerting psychological force. I have no issue with applying this term here. I'm sorry it happened. |
| Confused213
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 Confused213, MeganMariah72
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#3
Oct 17, 2013, 11:30 AM
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You don't want to call in sexual assault....that's really upto you. Definitions matters only for legal purposes.
What you have described absolutely can leave scars for a lifetime. I hope you are working with a T. You say you didn't do anything.....pls understand, MOST people rarely tell their abuser to stop. It's almost as if nothing happened. You convince yourself that it wasn't a big deal. All these are mechanisms to cope up with the abuse. Any unwanted touch or someone telling that "I want to touch you", itself can leave you shaken up. Please don't underestimate your pain. Your abuser is a criminal who should have been locked up for good. Nevertheless, please get some therapy. Denying pain of sexual abuse and calling only violent crimes like rape as sexual assault is like saying that twisting your leg is not painful....only broken legs are painful! We are here with you to overcome all!! Good Luck! |
| Confused213
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| Confused213
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#4
Oct 18, 2013, 08:46 AM
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your story makes me ashamed that I am a guy...........
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| Confused213
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| Confused213
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#5
Dec 12, 2013, 09:37 PM
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Thanks, everyone- I haven't logged in for a while so I just saw these- really, thank you- I think I'm doing a but better now *knock on wood*
__________________
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" -Camus since feeling is first who pays any attention to the syntax of things will never wholly kiss you; wholly to be a fool while Spring is in the world- cummings |
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#6
Dec 12, 2013, 09:38 PM
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Sorry- *bit better, not but
__________________
"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer" -Camus since feeling is first who pays any attention to the syntax of things will never wholly kiss you; wholly to be a fool while Spring is in the world- cummings |
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