[Hatter08]

I know something happened. I'm having so many strange feelings. People have told me that sometimes its better not knowing but I just feel like I have to know. I'm 20 years old now and would rather face these problems head on. I can't remember so much of my life and I just need some honest answers. It feels like everyone in my family has been lying to me and I can't even trust the memories I do have. Is there anything I can do to help me remember?

[Travelinglady]

Hatter08, some people say that they have found hypnosis helpful in getting them to free up repressed memories. At any rate, I suggest you begin by talking to a therapist about what's happening and seeing what he/she would suggest.

Also, could there be anyone outside your family who might be able to tell you some things about your earlier life?

[Stronger]

I'm in the same boat, and this has been something I've wondered for a really long time. If you do find something that you feel helps. Please do share

[Hatter08]

Originally Posted by Travelinglady

Hatter08, some people say that they have found hypnosis helpful in getting them to free up repressed memories. At any rate, I suggest you begin by talking to a therapist about what's happening and seeing what he/she would suggest.

Also, could there be anyone outside your family who might be able to tell you some things about your earlier life?

Thanks for the reply. I had heard about the hypnosis but wondered if that was legitimate. I'll look into that. I quit therapy fairly recently and probably won't be going back.

And I don't know anyone at all outside of the few family members I do know.

Originally Posted by Stronger

I'm in the same boat, and this has been something I've wondered for a really long time. If you do find something that you feel helps. Please do share

I hope you find answers in what you're looking for as well and if I find anything I will keep you posted.

[Travelinglady]

I have had hypnosis for other reasons. The danger it is said is that it can create false memories. It is basically a very relaxed state.

[doyoutrustme]

I find that you can't really retrieve memories without some sort of trigger. Old smells are powerful. Keepsakes. Places you used to go.

[Trippin2.0]

Mine were uncovered during hypnosis /meditation session, and what a surprize for me because it wasn't even during therapy, it was AT SCHOOL, during senior year, when this life coach was doing group activities to help bring us closer together.

I ran out of class and upchucked my lunch, its been 12 years of trying to unremember and praying that nothing else surfaces. I very actively don't want to remember ANYTHING else my mind buried, I buried them for a reason...

You could try a therapist who practices hypnosis, they're legit and can atleast guide you through the process.
It beats the shytti surprize I got any day...

[ShiningLight]

After a few months of therapy, I started to finally feel safe for the first time. That's when memories started coming back to me and making more sense. Was it because I felt safe? Was it because of something else? I don't know. Best of luck!

[Perna]

Like ShiningLight says, it is best to be ready for memories, you cannot force them. Were I you, I would start a dream journal, see if you get any themes or ideas from that. If your unconscious knows you are interested and paying attention, it might feel okay to remember.

[blueredgrey]

Dear,

Memories are weird. If I ask you to list your fav songs you listened to, say 10 yrs ago...I bet you can't name more than like 10-20 favs.

And maybe while browsing your favs in youtube and a suggestion of song shows up and suddenly you can sing the song in the right tune with right lyrics.....even though the song was completely out of your mind.

Life incidents are similar. The memory is stored somewhere, but when you want to retrieve it, your brain simply doesn't know where to look, since you've never accessed it before. So usually there are triggers that help us remember it.

I know my father did something to me calling it "love game". I don't remember anything being done to me, but I do remember incidents surrounding that period. There are bits and pieces of information, but it's not the whole picture. I don't even know if it is the real picture or false memory.

I know it is very frustrating. You don't know who your enemy is. You may retrieve repressed memories. You may retrieve part of it....or you may never retrieve it. The only thing you should know is you cannot force your brain to remember it.

People here have excellent suggestions. Pls follow them. The only things I would add is

1. Be patient. If you force it, you'd create false memories. Brain HATES gaps in memories.
2. Try meditation. It has a lot of positive effects....though I've never done it, my ADD doesn't let me.....but I seriously want to. Do try, if you can.
3. Try to think about few incidents from life that sticks out as odd. Where were you living then? Try maybe looking at few toys....or something like that. Maybe something will trigger.

I used to play a game where I imagine I am in danger and I have to hide from a supernatural evil enemy. Somehow, some rooms felt a little more unsafe than the others. I also think about some of my actions and try to think who were the adults I was living with....etc.

When you are violated, something just sticks. Whenever I try to study or read something boring, some sexual images, esp related to licking (sorry if it grosses or triggers anything) used to flood my mind. I correlate a childhood incident, when I was mebbe 8 when I asked my mom if I can lick my abuser's tongue. I don't remember the incident, but something similar must have happened.

Maintain a diary and write out everything that sticks out as odd in your life, hopefully, you'd find be able to connect the dots.

4. Consult a therapist - Memories or no memories, if you feel you are not able to live life to the fullest or some things in your life are bothering you, you should consult a therapist. You may or may not retrieve repressed memories, but you may be able to recover from it.

good luck!

[SkyWhite]

I've been going through this too. I have had this image/memory with me my whole life. I've been in therapy for almost a year now and the image is starting to come up again quite strongly. It seems to be a memory of something my mother did to me when I was little. To keep me out of the way, I think she forced me to stay in the bottom cupboard where she kept the pots. I had a dream last week that I was in a horrible dark place and I wanted to get out. But the more I cried to get out, the more this "evil entity" frightened me and kept me inside this place.

About 20 years ago I showed up at my mom's unannounced while she was babysitting my 5 year-old niece. My niece was under the dining room table and she wouldn't come out when I asked her to. I noticed her looking at my mom all scared (I couldn't see my mom from where I was standing). Finally, after a little more coaxing, she came out and I gave her an ice-cream cone. I was furious with my mom, but didn't say anything. I was still afraid of her I guess. This triggered me but all the emotions were stuffed back down. I also get bad headaches when I think about this.

I want so much to bring this up with my T, but I'm afraid he'll just blow it off as a false memory. I don't think it is a false memory at all.

[Hatter08]

@Travelinglady
Yeah, I had wondered about that as well. I probably won't do it because I'm not sure I could afford it anyway.

@doyoutrustme
Thanks for the reply. I'm thinking about going back to the place where it would have happened since I can presumably still get in there and have been looking into things that centered around the event. I found an old cabinet that belonged to the abuser and was used to block the door so no one could get in or out and that alone helped significantly with me remembering things.

@Trippin2.0/Shining Light/Perna
I'm sorry both of you have to put up with this. To be honest, I was more just angry at the time of posting this and have come to accept that maybe I'm really not ready for remembering yet, as if you can ever actually really be ready. As for Perna, I appreciate the suggestion and will start up a dream journal.

@blueredgrey
Thanks for the response. I plan on trying a few of those things but will likely not go back to therapy due to not having enough money and the poor experiences I've had with therapists in the past.

I'm sorry this happened to you. That's a big reason I want to remember. Without any proof, they might be brushed off as false memories and for all I know, they could be. That's why I care so much about finding out, even if it turns out to be a horrible experience, I at least want to know for sure. As for you, if you are seeing a t, I would recommend bringing this up to them. They may be able to help you sort it out, regardless of whether or not its real or false. Best of luck.

[doyoutrustme]

Sky, I think you should bring this up with your T, along with the presumption that he will brush it off as a false memory. I don't see why he should.