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ImNotHere
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Default May 21, 2014 at 09:03 AM
  #1
I am so angry lately. I just want to hurt people who hurt kids. In anyway. I see you hit a kid and basically I want to smash your face in. Don't call it discipline, it isn't. My anxiety is so bad right now. I have repetitive thoughts of people hurting kids. I feel like I am going crazy. I think If I saw someone hitting a child I could really lose it. How can I keep myself from losing it?

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Default May 21, 2014 at 09:49 AM
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I think anger management classes might be a good idea for you or to see an individual cousnelor to help you work through this anger issue. Sounds like you are not dealing with it very by yourself. Hope you find help, before you wind up in jail.

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Default May 21, 2014 at 10:33 AM
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I am in therapy, my therapist calls is a need for justice or something like that due to my past, she says that is why I have anger issues. Instead I see a need to find justice, people deserve to be punished for hurting children. I am a sensitive person and care so much about children and I become protective of them.

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Default May 21, 2014 at 10:39 AM
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Originally Posted by ImNotHere View Post
I am so angry lately. I just want to hurt people who hurt kids. In anyway. I see you hit a kid and basically I want to smash your face in. Don't call it discipline, it isn't. My anxiety is so bad right now. I have repetitive thoughts of people hurting kids. I feel like I am going crazy. I think If I saw someone hitting a child I could really lose it. How can I keep myself from losing it?
If you were abused as a child, this behavior (people hurting children) might be triggering you. No sensible person likes to see a child hurt or abused and it's understandable to be upset when you see it happening. Try to figure out why it bothers you to such an extreme. Were you abused as a child?

If you're not in therapy, get some counseling for the anger and why it's being triggered this way.

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Default May 21, 2014 at 10:45 AM
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Instead I see a need to find justice, people deserve to be punished for hurting children. I am a sensitive person and care so much about children and I become protective of them.
Anger is a motivator, but it's better to use anger in a more positive and healthier way. Clobbering someone for abusing their child will just get you in jail.

Maybe you could volunteer at a children's advocacy group or at a children's hospital. That way you're focusing on helping the child instead of s**t kickin the abuser. Some people go into law to protect children from abuse.

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Default May 21, 2014 at 10:56 AM
  #6
The problem is I have trouble stopping the bad thoughts about people hurting their kids, like I can help kids all day everyday but the thoughts still haunt me, I am in therapy, still and being around kids or parents or people just make it and the thoughts worse.

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Default May 21, 2014 at 11:42 AM
  #7
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Originally Posted by ImNotHere View Post
I am in therapy, my therapist calls is a need for justice or something like that due to my past, she says that is why I have anger issues. Instead I see a need to find justice, people deserve to be punished for hurting children. I am a sensitive person and care so much about children and I become protective of them.
Your therapist is correct, people who suffer from PTSD who have been abused in some way have a very strong desire for justice. You know what it feels like first hand, you know it is "wrong" and that a child is helpless to defend themselves from abuse. So, you get very angry when you see someone
over discipline a child, it's a big trigger. However, you will get triggered when you see "anyone" suffer abuse.

This is definitely a challenge, you are going to have to work through it and learn how to not feed into that part of the PTSD when you get triggered that way, and I know it is hard.



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Default May 21, 2014 at 12:44 PM
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The problem also is that through the eyes of PTSD & through the eyes of your abuse, everything that even touches a child in any kind of a discipline way you see as abuse where in fact not all is when it's done appropriately....but when your eyes see everything as inappropriate....then your judgment is totally determined by your PTSD & not logic which is why it can so easily get you into trouble if you were to act on your thoughts.

The thing is that thoughts are thoughts....& given your experience, the thoughts that you think & feel in your own mind are just that...thoughts based on your past. The strength & the self control comes in NOT acting on those thoughts.....just like thoughts of suicide many people have but choose not to act on them....recognizing the thoughts in the first place is an important skill because when you recognize them, it's easier to not just act impulsively without knowing why & in knowing why you are more able to stop yourself from any action.

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Default May 21, 2014 at 01:27 PM
  #9
I do believe that any kind of hitting is inappropriate and not needed, ever. There is no need to ever hit a child. There is no logic to that. I have so much anger and I am trying really to work on this but I don't think I am the problem with the world, I think people who hurt children are what is wrong with the world.

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Default May 21, 2014 at 02:36 PM
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The problem is I have trouble stopping the bad thoughts about people hurting their kids, like I can help kids all day everyday but the thoughts still haunt me, I am in therapy, still and being around kids or parents or people just make it and the thoughts worse.
Meditation and breathing exercises are a good way of handling those kinds of thoughts. I've always had a lot of anger in me as well, with the "desire for justice", but I found some relief from calming techniques.

When you get angry like that the body is going into fight or flight mode, and is responding primarily with the fight response. By relaxing the body through those techniques you're basically telling it that it's okay, and that the threat doesn't need that response right now.
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Default Jul 09, 2014 at 04:40 PM
  #11
I want to comment completely honestly on this, but it's probably a bit much.

Whilst you are right Trebyn, you need to remember, some of us will always be fighters, and calming yourself is not the only option, their's learning to tone down the anger to get a clearler view and still be in control.

I said to my mother the other day, how can you watch this?
What I was really asking was how can you just watch horrible stuff like this and only cry about it.


FYI Trebyn, I interjected when I noticed a family friend treating one of her twin boys slightly less equally, say, well I showed her, that She was treating one twin less favorably, maybe She didn't realise? well turns out She believed one of them always started hitting the other, long story short it was favourism of the one with eating disorder and I showed her the truth by plonking them both facing each other in one of those play doughnut rings things and she watched her favourite lunge for the other... now that kid now can grow up with a lot less hassle.

And I sincerly ask you, would of you notice treating them slightly different? yes probably, but I don't think you would of took that action that I did to show her the truth.

You may choose to calm yourself, that's how you do it, and if we both went into a child protection agency jobs, and you were calm and cared and I kept a little bit of anger and cared, who would be more affective? Both? Well, perhaps you would be part of the team that would see the kids when brought in, and I would be on the team to go on call or whatever.

Win-win

Oh, and when I see some real complete egotistical ***** troll attacking someone clearly defenseless online, I calmly DECIMATE THAT TROLL and it's over.

Anyway, if not read/seen, here's something for you guys to check out/share
Highly recommend it. There's a video about too.

Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason: Amazon.co.uk: Alfie Kohn: Books
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Default Jul 11, 2014 at 12:01 PM
  #12
ImNotHere

I am the same way. I get very agitated and fumed when children are abused. I too believe u Should never hit a child. I was very badly abused and even if I was I believe I would feel the same. There are other forms I discipline that aren't so archaic. Whether it's a smack across the face head butt or whatever it's not right.

I feel the same way when it's a man smacking his gf or wife. I've have gotten in the middle when a man full on slapped his gf at a restaurant because she had too much to drink and e wanted to leave. I am a small 5'3" female and I laid his *** out. Abuse is abuse. Bullying I bullying. No matter the form it's wrong.

I differ in that I don't have haunting thoughts of children being abused. I only have thoughts of getting rid of my childhood abusers. But I'm working with T on that issue. She sad I have very vivid and extremely violent fantasies.
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