[Fuzzybear]

Do you live your life just waiting for people to turn on you, or to turn into "someone else" like all those abusers in your life did? You want to trust people but have been programmed by all those abusers NOT to trust! Are you sick to death of the jarring negativity of those abusers IRL who you can't get the **** out of your life? Those abusers who can't or won't
let go of their hate...How do you learn to trust beyond a certain point when almost every time you let your guard down, almost every time you trusted the words people promised you,., they morph into a freakin snake! sometimes after months, sometimes after years. Ssssssss . Go away, snakes and dark forces and thoughts of suicide are not welcome here! (disclaimer, not about anyone on pc)

Love to all here

[celtic.starlite]

This is me! I have tried to trust but it is so hard. I'm always waiting for the other person to hurt me or to leave. I actually did tell my T this because once I realized how much I was trusting her in just the short time I've been with her, I started thinking she was going to get mad at me and leave and I started to feel like I was going to shut down on her. I don't have the fear that my T will hurt me though, which is not usual. I just always feel people lie, people hurt me, and people leave. How can I trust? Is it a lie if I tell someone I trust them and I feel I might trust them but then I think they are going to hurt me or going to leave me? Obviously if I feel those things then I don't really trust them, right?
Good post, Fuzzy.

Be well,

Celtic

[A Red Panda]

It's really hard. I get burned a lot, also sometimes after years or months.... because I spend all of my relationships/friendships going "X isn't Y, don't treat them like they are!" and I do my best to not treat them like they're already guilty of hurting me.

But I am hypersensitive to any changes, or any "warning" signs, and it doesn't take much to make me totally retreat.

It sucks! But I think I am getting better.

[suzzie]

is me too.

[shabur]

I have been hurt and disappointed so many times it takes me quite a while to trust.

[Kiya]

yeah - i seem to trust too easliy in a way, and then get betrayed. But on the other hand I keep my guard up and NOT let people in romantically because I don't want to be hurt again. 27 years was long enough. I've had 10 year mostly free, but still one toxic person in my life... I am not looking to add more. I don't know how to shake it off. Sometimes I think it might be nice to have another person in my life... and then I think about what has happened over and over and over... What if I haven't learned enough? What if I ended up with another abuser in my life and this time didn't have enough energy to escape? Too many 'what if's.

Yeah. Although lately I've found that I just automatically assume they're going to screw me over and don't even bother trying. Just run.

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

Do you live your life just waiting for people to turn on you, or to turn into "someone else" like all those abusers in your life did? You want to trust people but have been programmed by all those abusers NOT to trust! Are you sick to death of the jarring negativity of those abusers IRL who you can't get the **** out of your life? Those abusers who can't or won't
let go of their hate...How do you learn to trust beyond a certain point when almost every time you let your guard down, almost every time you trusted the words people promised you,., they morph into a freakin snake! sometimes after months, sometimes after years. Ssssssss . Go away, snakes and dark forces and thoughts of suicide are not welcome here! (disclaimer, not about anyone on pc)

Love to all here

I am sorry you have been taken advantage of by people who do not value you.
I have been betrayed a number of times. I used to give my trust away to people who did not deserve it. Now I have learned that trust is earned. And it takes a lot to earn my trust. I have also learned that I used to be a people-pleaser. But now I make the boundaries and everyone else has to deal with them...

[ThisWayOut]

I think I trust teh wrong people too easily because I am so desperate to trust someone and have it work out, and have them not run away, or drop out of my life, or turn out to hate me... but I trust the wrong people, so they tend to do that often...

[Fuzzybear]

I wish some of those would just go away. Pretty please. (IRL abusers so freakin boring, I can see through you ....)

It gets so old, they think they are so freakin smart. I told you before, go away! And you little horned piece of shyt piss off, thank you
Fuzzy Bear

[Grey Matter]

Family, extended, I find hard to trust. I wont ever trust them, I do not communicate with them or believe a word they say or let them close.

Otherwise... I have healed with trusting new friends as I was told that it is perfectly okay for me to keep people at a distance for a bit until I'M comfortable. I have that power back again, and it helps. But god does it hurt.

[Skitz13]

Because of my past abuse, I trust no one. The people I should have been able to trust abused me terribly. Right now I'm working with my T to confront my past. It's not easy work but I've been assured it will help me tremendously.

I just had my first session last week and it brought up a lot of emotions, I'm very afraid but I realize it's necessary.