[jennifersculpts]

I'm trying to decide if i should tell my older brother (he's 45) and his wife about the sexual abuse I experienced from our father. It occurred from about age 4 through 17, when I left home. I'm diagnosed with major depression, bi-polar disorder, PTSD, DID and borderline personality disorder. I'm med and ect resistant and have been in a state of despair for 11 years. I told my mother 11 years ago and the first thing she said was, "I always suspected," then she told me about a letter she found in my room when I was 8 or 9 years old that described what he was doing. She never did anything. I also told my sister a few days later. About a week later my mother told me she and my sister decided they didn't believe me. This was devastating. Anyway, I'm now staying with my brother and his wife and they've been very supportive during my hospitaliztions, etc. I have no where else to go, so I'm here until my case worker can find housing. I've been feeling a strong need to tell them, I think so they'll understand more completely what I'm going through (my cutting, isolation...). My therapist thinks my sister-in-law may have an idea. I just don't know if telling them will do more harm than good. It's hard keeping this from them. Can anyone help?

[Rhapsody]

Does your brother even know that you were sexually abused as a child? - If NO, then maybe start out by telling them that you feel that you are having to deal with all these mental issues (in the here and now) for you were sexually abused as a child and for many years.... and then see how they react to this information before you decide to go out on a limb and tell it all.

I suggest this path, for many family members will turn on the abused one at first - they need someone to blame at first, not to mention time to deal with all they were just told... please keep yourself safe until you know for sure how your brother and his wife just might react.

Take-Care.................. ((( hugs )))

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[Calm]

jennifer, don't forget you have your own boundaries to respect. You can test the waters by sharing just a small part of what you are dealing with. Take baby steps and see where they lead you. If you do decide to share with them, I hope for your sake they will be compassionate and continue with their support of you.

You deserve understanding and nothing less. Take gentle care of yourself during these tough times.

That's a difficult question Jennifer. Would you feel comfortable telling him (and/or his wife)?

It is a hard decision to make, and it would be best to weigh the pros and cons. Sorry to even say this, but would you be emotionally prepared if they decide not to believe you like your mother and sister did...

If you feel you are strong enough, regardless of the 'consequences' then that is fine. But if you are the least bit unsure, it might be best to wait...

Do take care.

[almostangela]

Your sister in law is not immediate family and is more likely to beleive you, but the risk is for your brother who is so close to the situation he may not want to beleive it. The worse case scenerio is if your brother rebutes your confession and if so, what would he likely do and how will it affect you? Best case scenerio is if your brother offers you compassion. Could you tell your sister in law and not your brother? She may pave the way to what you feel you need to do. In the end, it's all about you and your wellbeing. I beleive you and send a prayer of healing and strength for you.