[SkyWhite]

I knew this day was coming. My counseling went over the allowed number of visits and my T broached the subject of termination with me on Monday. He gave me six visits until Xmas and then "a three month break." WTF does that mean? After these last six sessions I'm basically cut off unless I need a chit chat now and then, but I can't get anymore helpful therapy.

Right on the heels of dealing with severe neglect and physical/psychological abuse from my parents, I discovered a few weeks ago that I was sexually molested outside the family. So I couldn't believe he would bring up termination now. When I complained it was bad timing, he said any time would be bad timing for me (I have severe attachment issues). I was having terrible flashbacks and emotional memories Monday morning before my appt and even emailed him that I'd probably be upset that day and this is what he does. What kind of T does that? I can't afford a psychologist (we have no med insurance for it) and there are no viable options for me. I'm stranded and all those abandonment pains are coming up full force. I emailed him Tues a.m. to tell him how upset I was and he didn't answer the email. I'm crushed. I don't think I will ever go into therapy again or trust a T ever again. I'm done!

After the sex abuse came up he told me he wasn't qualified to treat that, but I was okay with that because I didn't want to dig any deeper with it anyway. I wanted to focus on just healing and improving my life. Besides, the CSA clinic has a 3 year wait list.

The saddest thing is that, in spite of the CSA, I was starting to feel better and hopeful and wanted to work on grieving from parents' abuse and lost childhood. My new meds are working well for me. It wasn't my fault it took me this long to stabilize. I only saw my T about once a month and my pdoc even less.

I know its not my T's fault. He doesn't like the 6-session limit the clinic offers. He says it's ineffectual and unrealistic for a lot of clients, but the rules are the rules.

I don't want to do the last six visits. I'm too hurt. I don't trust him anymore. and what are we going to accomplish in 6 visits anyway except prolong my agony. I'd rather end this on my own terms not his. I typed up a goodbye letter that I'm going to read to him on our next and final visit.

[kaliope]

I agree, it was very bad timing for him to bring up termination in this visit. I can understand your hurt. but I question whether it is best to terminate or if that is just coming from a place of hurt and feelings of not wanting to be abandoned. you could figure out what you most need and plan to get the most out of these last six sessions. think about it. you have control over what happens. take care.