Religiously Inflicted

I'm constantly and frequently stepped on by my family with religious standards and verbal let-downs. I don't' know, but I was wondering, can religious lifestyle, for some people who are so in depth with it, can become abusive with it?

Like can someone be so forward and verbally threatening with it, it can be considered an emotional and verbally abusive trait?

With my family, they believe and are 'hard core' Christians, but they take things so for into perspective they give no outside thought or opinion as an options. As far as most, I'm constantly attacked because of my differences and opposite lifestyle from theirs. I'm always being 'preached' to because I'm not living 'correctly'. At the most, I'm always trying to stay away from them, since I know how they are about everything I do, but when they find a way to pursue me or confront me, I'm being bashed on by their religious reign over everything. They let themselves think they are better and ultimately superior than everyone and take only high standards over everything.

When I'm looked at, I'm the opposite to them because I'm considered a threat for being 'open minded' and so I'm continuously attacked verbally and emotionally. It's difficult to even think of living and being a 'family' with these intolerable people, they are nonsupporting and rude.

Sorry you are going through this.

People will use almost anything as an excuse for bad behavior, and unfortunately when they believe they have the righteousness of doctrine behind them it can become quite overbearing.

The good news is, being around them while having beliefs that are not in synch with theirs will ultimately make you a stronger person, able to handle conflict -- and it's a most excellent skill set to have.

I am very sorry you are going through this.

I also had a problem with a strict church while trying to recover from lifelong abuse/neglect. The religious connection helped in that developing my own spirituality and faith was a big help. Getting on my knees in prayer is something I still do.

But the judgemental attitudes - what they considered as "humility" (not the same as what I think), and many other attitudes they had, were further abusive to me.

I finally left. I left many friends behind. I maintain a very lose online connection to a few.

And it was some of the worst abuse I ever had.
Again, very sorry you have been affected by this too.

I'm sorry your experiencing this form of abuse. Religion has been used for thousands of years to bully people into submission. Think of the "Islamic" terrorists. What your family is doing to you is no different than what terrorists do. And, religion or not, any family that does not accept each person's individuality, and actually punishes you for it, is dysfunctional and severely abusive. If they were truly Christian they would not be doing this to you. That kind of environment can be extremely damaging to your self esteem, you sense of self and selfworth. The sooner you can get away from them the better.

Hi

There is such a thing as 'religious addiction' where people will use religion just like alcohol or drugs to alter one's mood. Religion is ok but when it consumes your whole life and you can't think of anything else, then it can be destructive. Especially when loved ones are sucked into their religious addiction and have to think exactly like them. This brings up another theme of cults. As well as having church cults you can have 'cult-like families' where no disagreement or criticism is allowed. Everybody must think the same way and if you don't you are ostracised. Your family seems a bit like a cult and it seems you came off second best because you are open-minded. Food for thought.

Peace

PH

That is horrible.I know very well how that will be.I have heard/read about those abusive religious things from parents but i didn't experienced it since i always had my own rules like a free bird.I am not a religious person.When i was a teenager,once i told my dad that i never will pray again and from that day i felt great.Sorry to hear that you are going through that worst thing...

I know how you feel sorta. I'm afraid to say anything about what I'm going through in fear that my parents religion might make them do this. i don't think they would 'abuse' me about it, I just think they wouldn't understand that I don't have the same conviction to our religion as they do, and that 'prayer' or asking for help, isn't just going to make depression go away.

BrownCurtains,

Part of what I'm in therapy for, was what the church did to me on top of what was already done to me.

Religion can be a way of control - and one thing churches want to do with people who aren't functioning that well (for whatever reason), is to control them.

I guess its because they do not see God giving answers - how do they explain that?

We present a threat to what they teach.

So we must be controlled - or chastised, etc. (to set an example for any others)

I deal with this in therapy all the time. It is one of my major issues on top of physical abuse, and many other things.

My T. just came right out and told me "what the church said to you is wrong" (a direct quote from him). My response: "Thank you! You don't know how badly I needed to hear that!"

Just saying. (and hope I did not offend anybody - certainly was not trying to).

Musica91

You didn't offend me. And thanks for what you said. My church isn't abusive in any way. I actually really like my church and believe in what is taught there. But I'm just more afraid of the unwanted attention and constant questions. I think they would be worried, but in a way where they think I should be closer with God about what I feel, and that they would try to make me 'closer' with God. I just wish people understood that prayer and God helps, but ultimately we need something human to fix us. (Sorry, I don't want to use fix, but I can't think of a better word)

You are absolutely right browncurtains. Prayer and God comforts people with mental illness but it does not treat mental illness or make it go away. That is simply magical thinking. If one of them had cancer would he/she just try to pray it away. No, they'd go to a proper doctor and get treated. Why doesn't the same apply for mental illness? What I see here are church folks demonizing mental illness, acting as if you're possessed or something and some good old prayer and churchin will exorcise you. Ignorance about mental illness causes this type of behavior.

I still pray and believe in God, and yes, faith does help you with issues, etc.

I did go to a very strict and a little bit "cultish" type church and I know they are not all like that.

You would have to know the whole history on my part, and I won't go into it because its complicated.

But I'm glad nobody was offended and everybody has their choice to work this issue out for themselves - certainly.