[Silent_Tears_17]

I am 19. I was homeschooled most of my life but I am the oldest of 5 kids - all homeschooled.
My little sister (9) asked me yesterday if I thought that it was fair that after getting punished she went to her room and was crying into her pillow and got hit twice for crying.
I told her it wasn't. I comforted her. I apologized. But what more can I do? It isn't illegal. I can't stop it from happening. I just want to make sure the least harm comes from it. I don't want her to end up like me - suicidal, MDD, PTSD and everything else I have.
What can I tell her? What would be the most important thing someone could have told you that would have helped you know it wasn't your fault. What can I do so that she is less likely to be psychologically struggling like so many of us are?
Thanks.

[StressedMess]

That's a hard one, I'm so sorry. I would report someone to Child Services for that kind of behavior, but these are your parents also. Do you feel comfortable making a report?

[Silent_Tears_17]

Can't. Two swats on the butt for what he is calling disrespect. Not punishable or even notable in the laws. The neglect for not treating me for suicide attempts would be worse. But no one would report. My dads a cop and a lawyer. The kids are homeschooled. There is no way out. I just want to mitigate the emotional damage. Though I think we both know the yelling is more painful. So i don't know why I'm even bothering. Thanks though.

[Frankbtl]

Hi Silent Tears, I think it might be an idea to ask her (if you haven't already) if there have been any other times he has done this, and how she feels he treats her in general just in case there's more, and this isn't an isolated time.
If it's not an isolated time- then he is still hitting her, and if there's emotional abuse as well with yelling (??) then that is still abuse.
And if there are concerns, I know it might be difficult to get that far with it if he's a cop and a lawyer, but I'm thinking he wouldn't want it to get reported in the first place (to protect his reputation?). So maybe you could have a word with him and tell him that if it doesn't stop then you will have to report it to Child Services, perhaps that would help.
Although if there is a lot more to the story when you talk to your sister then you could go to Child Services anyway, they should have a legal requirement to act regardless.
But kudos on wanting to do right by your sister, which I think you are doing for her in terms of emotional support already.........by letting her know it isn't fair, it isn't her fault, that she deserves more, by comforting her, by being there for her.............
And maybe just encourage her to talk to you whenever anything happens that she doesn't feel is fair/right?? And as I'm sure you know anyway, it's really important to let her know that you believe what she's telling you.
And I am sorry he didn't give you the support you needed for your suicide attempts, if you're ever feeling you're in need of that kind of support then make sure you've got some helpline numbers, OK??
If he isn't going to help when you need him, there will be someone out there who will, don't let his dismissal of you hold you back from getting the support you need from elsewhere.

Alison

[nicoleflynn]

It is so sad that parents still think hitting a child does anything positive. NO one ever deserves to be it. I hope you will call a suicide hotline and get some help. The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans is the book which saved my life

Yes, kudos for helping your sister and recognizing that abuse is so damaging.

[lostwonder]

First, I would like to tell you how sorry I am that you are in a rough situation. It sounds like you are doing well for your younger siblings. Nothing that a young lady your age should be saddled with. You will be moving out soon I'm sure? Even though it isn't your responsibility try not to forget about your younger siblings at home. Try to continue to be a support for them as you work toward healing.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Silent_Tears_17

I .
My little sister (9) asked me yesterday if I thought that it was fair that after getting punished she went to her room and was crying into her pillow and got hit twice for crying.
I told her it wasn't. I comforted her. I apologized. But what more can I do? It isn't illegal.

Originally Posted by Silent_Tears_17

Can't. Two swats on the butt for what he is calling disrespect. Not punishable or even notable in the laws. My dads a cop and a lawyer. .

Ok, she got a swat, for whatever the original offense was. Then, a double swat for expressing emotions.

Tell him, clearly, it's one thing to be punished for breaking a rule. To be punished for having an emotional reaction to being punished is like double jeopardy.

Might be his house, his rules, but have him explain logic, because one day, you might have children and would like a logic approach to parenting.

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk