[Heididazzled]

My Dad sexually abused me when I was 15.There was no sex invloved but did things that were inapropriate and abusive.I wasn't effected by the abuse at that time and i was fine for years then when I was 22 the memories that I buried started to come back and haunt me.They come and go after a while. Then the memories come back again. I am now 29 and it been on mind constantly.I decided to see a therapist.

Why do memories of past abuse have to come back later in life and haunt us? Why can't they be forgotten?

[kaliope]

trust me, they are just as troublesome when you dont remember them. they just impact your life in different ways.........

[Mrs. Mania]

I was sexually abused by my brother from 7-8 years old,I had my first breakdown about it at 16. It didn't quiet down until my mid 20's. After lots of therapy!!! It's something you have to deal with pretty much, suppression just makes it manifest in other areas of your life. Then you have to deal with that fall out as well. Stay in therapy until you get a little peace.

[*PeaceLily*]

This has just happened to me! I am scared of other memories coming back. I don't have any advice, but I am thankful you wrote this because it validates what just happened to me, so thankyou. xx

[unaluna]

Dealing with the feelings in therapy really can make them go away. I would not have believed it, and i dont think its just because i got old, cuz i know old people for whom the feelings are still present.

[RainbowG]

The mind is an amazing machine. It learns to cope with extreme trauma so that you can function. But it takes an incredible amount of energy to suppress trauma, energy that you need to live a happy, full life.

I believe we're not given anything we can't handle, though we may think we can't. When you say you were fine at the time these events happened, what you really mean is that you continued to function without being aware of what was wrong. That happened to me too for about 40 years.

The damage of trauma is there until we consciously heal from it. That's just the way the brain works. When you were 22, you were prompted to deal with the issues by the memories. I'm guessing you didn't go to therapy at that time. You're being prompted again to deal with the damage from the trauma now. You've made a very wise choice to go to a therapist.

There's often a lot of anger and shame as well as pain associated with sexual abuse. None of that disappears just because we've suppressed the memories of what caused it. It comes out in very destructive ways, such as low self-esteem, unfulfilled potential, addictions, destructive relationships, and possibly even you abusing others. All of these things make life miserable.

Painful memories are a blessing. They're the door to deep healing. It's not fun. It's not pretty. But that's the way the mind works. Please continue to go to a therapist and work through these experiences. There will come a point where you'll understand how deeply those suppressed memories have hurt you and how much better it is to work through them.