[Troubled.One]

Hello to all of the others out there who have been sexually abused, assaulted, or harrased in their younger years. This seems to be a hard topic to converse about sometimes, since it brings back memories and such. My PTSD is a result of my sexual abuse. When I was younger, From age (approximately) 3-7 I was sexually abused by my eldest brother. Almost no one else knew about it, but thanks to God, My mom divorced my abusive and negligent father (who 1. didnt work 2. didnt feed me or my other older brother 3. was a druggie 4. was an alcoholic 5. only liked my eldest brother 6. ate all of the food with my eldest brother when my mom went grocery shopping and didnt save me, my mom, or my other older brother much food 7. my mom had to work 2 jobs day and night and all of the money went to my him for him to use for marijuana and beer money 8. made my mother drive him to his weed dealer friend to get weed 9. made my mother go out to get the beer whenever he wanted 10. never cared about what me or my brothers watched on tv (I was introduced to Freddy Kruegar and Jason when I was a baby and let us watch other r-rated movies all of the time 11. attempted to kill my mom a couple times 12. plotted to kill my mom and 13. introduced me to alcohol at age 3, and i drunk wine coolers every so often, but i couldnt have known it was wrong because i was 3 and the wine coolers tasted good because they were flavored like orange and grape, and they tasted like soda. 14. i was around the smoke of marijuana 24/7 when i was a a baby and a child with a developing brain (i suspect that this is the cause of my ADHD and mental disorders, that and because when my mother was a child, she often ate paint chips that contained lead(lead tastes sweet i think)) 15. he was just terrible in general. [wow, long list] but back to what I was saying, Thanks to God, my mother started working a night job as a janitor at the mall and met my now step dad and divorced my father. Although I am extremely thankful and luck to have my stepdad, he has a long list of SERIOUS flaws himself, but compared to my biological father, my step dad is much better. Thank you so much for letting me share part of my story (there is a ton more where that came from) and for you time that you took to read this. Thank you

[Troubled.One]

I invite you guys to share your stories, too, but only if you feel perfectly comfortable with it!

[Frankbtl]

Hi Troubled.One, I'm really sorry you had to go through all of that
And thanks for sharing, it was a lot to share so really (!!) thank you!!!
Hopefully you're getting some real help with the PTSD, with what happened to you (as well as the other problems)?? Because as you know it doesn't just go away when the situation changes, right??!!
With your step-dad though it's really good that things have got better but just try not to go down the comparison route (which I know has to be real easy to do!!!) too much, hey??
It is good that things are better but.........those SERIOUS flaws..........well perhaps you STILL deserve SO MUCH better, hey??
Or another way............perhaps try comparing him to how a parent should be.............
So maybe you can speak out to your mom, to someone...........?? But absolutely you can get support here too, if you want to talk about what happened to you in the past, how it's effecting you or if you want to talk about what's going on for you now with your step-dad.
And again.........thank you for sharing!!

Alison

[Big Mama]

I love that dancing kitty by the way. I have put my stories of abuse on his site and in this forum as well. I feel like if I say it one time and a hundred people read it then that is 100 less little pieces of my story I carry with me.

Good for you and how brave of you to speak out. Please continue to come here and talk and dump and scream or yell or what ever you need to do. We will listen.

Please don't hesitate to PM me if you need a more personal type of venting. If it would help you to feel better feel free to ok threw my profile and my stuff as well. I put it here for all to see.

My healing began the day I choose to share.