[sassycinephile]

I began masturbating at a young age, 4 or 5. But I wasn't simply touching myself, instead I was humping things, straddling furniture and riding it. This continued until I was about 11 or 12 when I began touching myself. At the age of 14 up until I was about 18, I was masturbating anywhere from 3-10 times in a day until the point of climax each time. It was then that I started realizing it might be a problem. I was also viewing pornography close to every day and now as a consenting sexual adult, I've noticed I still have an extremely high sex drive. None of this feels normal and I feel it might be a problem. I was hoping for some insight into why sex is such a big problem for me. I have a cousin who used to play "doctor" games with me and kiss me with tongue but I don't have real memories of these games, I just know that they happened. I also hated going to play with her and made a big deal about how much I hated her but never had a reason for it. Please help me.

[lone_77]

Woah, I've never encountered someone with a story so similar to my own ...my sex drive isn't/wasn't as high but I definitely was more sexual as a child than I should have been. But from what you're saying, those experiences with your cousin definitely could have affected you. Mine were the same, just faint memories with my cousin but since I've been in therapy it's helped clarify and sort of put together the pieces. Have you been talking to anyone? It certainly helps, even if it does feel embarrassing. Making sense out of your past helps so much with the present. And a T will definitely have some really good insight, especially if you tell them everything you wrote here.