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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 67,808
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May 15, 2007 at 03:02 PM
#1
Does that mean I can forget?
I will never forget! I will never stop looking over my shoulder! He died in another country - I wish I could prove he was dead! He abused me emotionally, mentally and physically - he was my mother's husband! She suffered so much more. I wish he was dead. Oh wait, he IS dead! Why can't he die? __________________  Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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May 15, 2007 at 03:19 PM
#2
 Oh, sweetie... He will die... maybe not tomorrow... maybe not next week... but he will slowly fade away... towards death.We're here waiting to hold your hand. ((((((((((((( Sabrina ))))))))))))))) 
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Most Legendary Elder
Member Since Jul 2003
Location: CA
Posts: 22,211
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May 15, 2007 at 03:38 PM
#3
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Sabrina}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} May I say... ? In guided imagery I had to kill my perpetrator three times before I could loosen her hold on me. (Shoved her over the edge of a cliff.) She had been dead in reality for years before that.
__________________ Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 67,808
(SuperPoster!)
18 1,653 hugs
given
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May 15, 2007 at 04:11 PM
#4
I guess I am only starting this journey ... this isn't even about my ex-husband .................. and that was so much worse. (Sort of .....)
Oh dear - sharing isn't easy! Thank you for your support Tomi and Nina!!! I appreciate it! (and need it!) __________________ Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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May 15, 2007 at 05:52 PM
#5
((((((((((((((((((((sabrina)))))))))))))))))))))
i feel your pain and hear your words. please know i am thinking of you and hope you can heal soon and get on with your life. love -- -- jinnyann 
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Most Legendary Elder
Member Since Jul 2003
Location: CA
Posts: 22,211
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20 397 hugs
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May 15, 2007 at 07:45 PM
#6
You know I'm always here for you, Sabrina!
It's not an easy road, but it's not impossible, either, ok?? {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Sabrina}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} __________________ Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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Member
Member Since Jul 2003
Location: Las vegas
Posts: 303
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May 15, 2007 at 07:48 PM
#7
I want my abusers dead. One day that will happen and I will probably breath a bit easier, knowing that they can't hurt anyone again.
What they left me with though, I have to kill that. mtd |
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Most Legendary Elder
Member Since Jul 2003
Location: CA
Posts: 22,211
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20 397 hugs
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May 15, 2007 at 07:58 PM
#8
I think that's a two-sided coin. My abusers were already dead when my abuse came to light. For a while, I resented the fact because I couldn't confront any of them!
__________________ Psalm 119:105 Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Oct 2005
Posts: 3,886
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May 15, 2007 at 08:22 PM
#9
My abuser is thankfully dead! In my mind, he is alive and well (sarcastically speaking).......but only if I let him be.....and let him have that hold over me. I refuse to allow him to have power over me now that he is DEAD!
__________________ Please donate to your local animal humane shelter! Thank-you! 
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 67,808
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18 1,653 hugs
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May 16, 2007 at 03:00 PM
#10
Thank you Zen ... I had a post, posted but everything froze and it didn't go through - so I'll try again ....
I agree with you - he IS dead but in my mind he seems so alive. But, just as you say, only if I let him be! I will not let him have power over me but I can't help but remember precious things lost - like my 16th birthday ***********TRIGGER********** when he punched me in my face, knocked me out but before I went down, he laughed ... I will never forget that laughter. When I came to, I took my pillow, my dog and a 2L coke and hit the road - I had to leave my Mom - I just had to and I still feel guilty! __________________ Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 67,808
(SuperPoster!)
18 1,653 hugs
given
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May 16, 2007 at 03:12 PM
#11
Thank you Tomi. Yes, it isn't impossible - thank you for reminding me of that!!
__________________ Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 67,808
(SuperPoster!)
18 1,653 hugs
given
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May 16, 2007 at 03:17 PM
#12
I hear you ..... and I understand!
__________________ Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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Elder
Member Since Apr 2003
Posts: 5,584
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May 21, 2007 at 04:41 PM
#13
.......The neighbor that molested me has been dead for many years.. Actually, I think he died many years before I even had fragmented memories of being in the *basement/cellar as the room had a dirt floor* of his house... But he is still alive in my mind... Although I can not remember his face or what he looks like, I still feel him lurking behind me..........
I was warned to never go to his house alone. I did not understand why. If I had listened, nothing would have happened to me. |
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Feb 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 67,808
(SuperPoster!)
18 1,653 hugs
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May 28, 2007 at 07:24 AM
#14
I understand - but it still wasn't your fault!
__________________ Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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