[happyflowergirl]

I am an childhood abuse survior and I have slowly been making some friends in my real life and on the PC because I am able to trust easier.

Well I have this one online friend, who has issues like me, but It seems like I can never do enough, say enough, to support her. She gets angry at me when I don't measure up to her expectations. I feel I am being the best friend I can, but when she tells how angry she is because I don't so etc. etc., I feel very judged and hurt.

I feel I need to space from her, but i know that will probably hurt her as well, but I have learned from therapy, that you have to put yourself first to protect yourself. I want to help her, but now I fee pressured to do it in a certain way. I have a lot of responsiblities in my life and I feel she needs someone who is more available to her, I can't be everything to her in her life. I want to back down from her, she is getting too obsessive about me, I don't need that stress. But I feel gulity too. I don't know what to do. Any ideas?

Sounds like you have some great insight into whats going on. Maybe you just need some encouragement. You are doing the right hting. Maybe you can write out what you want to say. That you care about her, and you hope things go well, but you need some space. Be firm, but caring. its okay to do. Do what you can. Sounds like this is a growing opportunity.

[happyflowergirl]

Thanks esthersvirtue,

I did write her an email, tried to explain why I needed some space, and she really got mad. She wrote me back saying we were uncompatible, and she wanted me to destroy all her information and to never talk to her again. I feel sad, I don't belive I did anything wrong, just wanted some breathing room. I was honest and it just backfired on me. I realize this isn't probably about me, it is something else, but I am sad neverless. Friendship is hard. Thanks for responding to my thread.

Happyflowergirl, You did do the right thing. It okay to feel sad. She took away the relationship, and you didn't do anything wrong. Its okay to need breathing room. Friendship is hard! I agree..especially when we are all hurting people inside. Perhaps one day ...she will deal with her issues and be able to re-establish the realtionship again, but good job in asserting your voice!!

((happyflowergirl))
so brave and strong u are
im proud of you for standing up for what u needed
good on you

I did the same thing as you did. The person also got angry at me. Yes, friendship is hard.

I have to say though that you did the right thing. There is just so much you can do. You have a private life, responsibilities and people close to you in your every day life. Sometime your real life have to go first.

It's sad when someone can't accept that sometime you need a bit of space for yourself.

Maybe one day this "friend" will understand.

Take good care of yourself!