[Kainaible]

I am convinced that I have terruble luck. I don't know if I broke a mirror or walked under a ladder as a child, but I look back on my life and all I see is struggle after struggle. I just do not understand.

Possible trigger:

Before age 16, I was raped, emotionally and physically abused by my parents, had attempted suicide 4 times and had a stint at a mental hospital.

My parents were th source of most of my unhappiness and blamed me for everything wrong in their life.
I moved out at 17,and I struggled and struggled, often working two jobs to pay rent by myself.
Fast forward four years, and I am married. I love my husband and my relationship with him is flourishing.
But my bad luck just follows me around. After we lived together for two years and everything was decent, we decided to get married.
Thinking of my wedding only makes me sad, because of the drama that happened. Literally everything went wrong that could go wrong.
Three months after our wedding and some bad job decisions later, we lost our apartment and had to move three hours away to live with my abusive mother. She did what comes best and made our lives living hell for two months before kicking us out. She didn't care if we were homeless, she just determined I was a negative influence on her life and that she didn't want me around her any more.
We found a place that I was able to afford, but it's still so so hard. My husband has Ben out of work for 9 months, and I am working three jobs to try and support us.

I am just so so tired of having a crap go of it.
On top of this, we had started trying for a baby after a scare and we realized that we both really wanted children . We tried for three months before the stress became too much and we decided to stop, right as my sister in law announced that they were expecting their second child.

In addition, my younger sister moved to new York and got a job right off the bat. She is now raking in money and bragging about the trip her and her boyfriend are going on in december. She has been to Norway and argentina alone this year, both financed by my parents. The same ones who refused to pay for a graduation gown for me in highschool.

Like this is so dumb. Why the hell is my life so hard? And I don't want to hear the BS life is what you make it Yada Yada jus be positive and your luck will change.
NO. It doesnt. Because you know when my life was crumbling down around my ears and I was looking for the positive, that didn't stop it from steadily getting worse.

[CANDC]

Hi Kainaible. Welcome to Psych Central. I am so sorry you have suffered so much abuse and neglect. No one should have to go through that. A therapist that specializes in survivors of abuse could be very helpful.

There is a resource where you can submit a question and volunteer therapists answer as their time called Ask the Therapist. Ask the Therapist

Many people here at PC find they can share these feelings and what they are going through with the confidence that people go through similar things and can empathize. So many forums are offered as well as Chatrooms (after you have 5 posts or comments on others posts). Anxiety (including social anxiety) is at 8PM EST Wednesday.

You can also be an active member in other ways like supporting others in their questions, reading articles and posts http://forums.psychcentral.com that are applicable to your area of concern.

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.