[phoenix7]

it sneaks up on you - affecting your everyday

someone says youre pretty and you shudder - thats bad - best to be ugly - scarred - put on the pounds - no one will want you then and you will be safe

but there is no safe

safety is gone - it comes back in fleeting moments and then is stolen again by memories

what did they mean by that? are they a predator? best to stay alone......isolate - live inside your head - invent friends inside so youa re safe

but you never are

one day you wake up and find your life is half gone or more

one day a psychic looks at your hand and says its as if you have never lived a life

I lived in my head

imagination was my friend

and then you get broken again

lies - deceipt of .... pain....despair....numbness

someone helps you - then they die....how long do you go on - start again maybe

get it right next time around

people say they love you - but how can they - only you know the one inside that hides in the dark

sometimes the mask slips and someone glimpses inside -

more pain

glue the mask on tight - invent a person for the world while you stay inside safe

wake up and look outside only to realise its too late - you stopped ageing inside when you stayed there

outside the world took its toll on youre body and mind

meds - do they help or hinder of just feed the numbness

so my question i guess is ... well the answer is .....no point ...do you know the question ?

[Fuzzybear]

Haven't read a post that sums up what's in my head like this. Feels weird. Someone else feels like I do?

I have no answers. Just warmth and empathy.

[CopperStar]

If I know the question, I disagree with the answer.

The human mind is an extremely complex and amazing thing. It has means of protecting one's true self, shielding it behind iron walls and keeping it safe until the time is right, until the environment is safe, until the true self can emerge once again.

Abusers often try to destroy a victim's sense of self. As a last resort, the mind will take in the true self and throw up iron walls around, to preserve it and to save it, until the body is able to go through the motions of getting to a safer, healthier situation. In addition, this can give the true self time to grow stronger before it reemerges.

Living inside of your head makes sense when you've spent a lot of time in situations where the outside world was unsafe. And if that is the last of the world your true self experienced, then it could easily be your true self talking with such notions as that it will never be safe to reemerge. It can definitely be a difficult task and require a lot of patience to convince your primitive self that it is safe to drop the walls.

But those walls were created to rescue and protect your true self. There is no need to resent them, as they have done a very, very important job. Now there is only a need to help that primitive, instinctive part of you realize that the mission is complete, and that it's okay for the true self to come forth now.