[Joy B.]

I have a brother who abuses me. At my age, 58, it's hard to believe. He talks to me like dog do on his shoe. There is no low to which he won't go. Our father is aging and there's things I need to tend to. He has stuck his nose in my father's business going so far as finding out how to protect his inheritance. He's a little too interested in my father's financial business to which my father has made me privy. My brother is an alcoholic abuser. He has mood swings that are out of this world. He's been drinking and abusive for 45 years. Anyone would say, oh, he's fine when he's sober. His life is a mess. He lives in a house my father owns and he has destroyed it. He destroyed my father's property. He will destroy anything or anyone in his path. He abuses when there are no witnesses. I've thought I should start recording him. Like when my son visits, he changes his whole demeanor and everything's honky dory. I've wanted to punch him in the face. He has a severely handicapped son which I know is hard. But for the son, my father would have kicked my brother out. He has the nastiest tone and I think of him as a monster. I believe I have to cut ties no matter the cost. He is vicious and ugly. But he sure goes for the vodka. I am not taking his calls or listening to his voice messages. I will work with my father, but not my brother. I told him he was abusive. He said, 'that's the way it is, it's how I was raised'. He won't look at his behavior. Every thing he says, does, is abusive. I have to cut ties. I have to live as though he does not exist. He is dead to me. So I guess I'm not really asking for advice. He is a horrible brother. I don't feel love for him, but I am beginning to feel hate. I hate abuse. I hate abusers. So it must mean I hate my brother. I will only have to deal with him upon my father's passing. I'll give him what's his and I'm washing my hands of him.

[kaliope]

hi joy b
i am sorry you are in this abusive situation. if you are taking care of your father's affairs and want to protect him, make certain he has a will so things go smoothly upon his passing. this will keep things from getting so ugly. i for one, do not believe the old adage "blood is thicker than water" and have walked away from my abusive family as well. i dont tolerate abuse from anybody. just block the number from your phone and you wont even have to deal with messages. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[Ruftin]

Hello and welcome to Psych Central Joy B.!!! It's nice to meet you. You have joined a community of warm and caring members who will want to offer you support and advice. Yours is welcome as well.

Please feel free to contact any community liaison or moderator by left clicking on their name in blue to the left of their post if you need help navigating the forums. It will take some time for your first five posts to appear as they are being evaluated and then you will be able to join chats.

I'm sorry for your struggles. You'll find we have a safe and supportive community. I'm glad you've joined us.

I look forward to seeing you around!!!

[nicoleflynn]

It doesn't mean you have to hate your brother, just that you won't be his "target " anymore. Good boundaries. The Verbally Abusive relationship by Patricia Evans saved my life. Saying you are abusive because that is the way you were raised, sad excuse.

[CANDC]

Hi Joy. Welcome to Psych Central. I am so sorry you have suffered bullying and abuse. No one should have to endure that. There are many forums here which you can find. One you might want to check out is Survivors of Abuse - Forums at Psych Central You have your hands full being a caregiver to your father.

Many people here at PC find they can share these feelings and what they are going through with the confidence that people go through similar things and can empathize. So many forums are offered as well as Chatrooms (after you have 5 posts or comments on others posts). Anxiety (including social anxiety) is at 8PM EST Wednesday.

You can also be an active member in other ways like supporting others in their questions, reading articles and posts http://forums.psychcentral.com that are applicable to your area of concern.

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.