[PrairieCat]

So far with my therapy for C-PTSD, I have had three nightmares. In the first one, my last ex-husband endangered me but I would not get in a car with him and he drove like the driving maniac he was, madly in a circle, and he flipped the car and killed himself. Then, I then just wanted to go home.

In the second nightmare, my mother gave me a big push in a wagon or a sled from the top of a very steep hill and I knew I would hit traffic at the bottom and die. The wagon or sled was going very fast so death was certain. I decided that if I jumped out, I would be badly injured but maybe not killed. The end.

In the third nightmare, my mother was in disguise as an East Indian male, had my hands and perhaps the rest of me tied up and a tiger was going to come and kill me. No place was safe because the tiger could magically get through doors and gates. I was told that the tiger would kill me. I awoke, so this didn't occur.

Some things in these bad dreams are from things I saw on TV. Some relate to issues in my childhood and of course to my marriage where in real life I had to tell the ex that I would not go to a party with him in his car because he was dead drunk. Most all of it relates to my crazy past. My therapist thinks that I am doing fabulous because I've had these awful dreams. She said that it is evidence that I am working hard on my issues.

I am slowly changing. I now seem to be able to handle things in a very normal, grownup way that comes naturally to me. I am not without some fear, but it is not so difficult. I don't have to plan things much. I am continually surprised by how easy each day is for me now. Not awful, not difficult.

I have also had to confront two neighbor men who did very stupid things that really offended me. I used straight talk with them and they will not cause me any problems in the future. The old me could have never done this in a million years, so that is progress.

I can only do about one major thing each day. Yesterday was fabulous because I met my new primary care doctor and I just love her! She is so 'user-friendly' and so darned NORMAL! I was so relieved because i had tried two other doctors who were themselves nightmares...one caused me to have panic attacks on the way home, she was so rude. (She is not in business anymore in my town.) The other doctor's office called me four times to remind me of my appt within three days after I had initially called them to confirm the appt. I ended up talking to them on the phone six times in three days. The last call I made to them to tell them that if they called me one more time I would cancel the appt.! Also, her assistant was a moron. The doctor before I changed doctors was a man who could not tell me the truth and who tried to make me feel that I was much sicker than I was. The truth is that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me then except that the psych drugs for a misdiagnosis made me very ill.

Today I rested for most of the day and then I did some laundry and also cleaned the two kitty litter boxes. I have been able to cook with no problems.

I just have not functioned normally as I have not been able to clean my house or even take out the trash. I feel that I am much closer to being able to function more normally now. Listening to music is helping me greatly!

My daughter doesn't like it much but she is slowly learning to be more respectful towards me. She has not been respectful towards me for years. That is huge.

I hope that all of this long post helps somebody else! Thanks for listening/reading!

[CANDC]

Hi and thanks for sharing about your nightmares. I look forward to when my nightmares are only soap operas in my sleep.

Glad your daughter is respecting you. It helps both of you.

[Big Mama]

hey there. Your T is correct. Nightmares suck and they scare the hell out of us and they stay stuck in your head for months sometimes. But they are often a sign of growth.

Personally I see the first dream as you knew that your ex husband was bad news and you didn't get in a car with him. That is foretelling that you recognize that he is or was bad news. Good for you. At least your brain realizes that.

I don't know anything about you. But did something happen to you sexually or abusively. The last two dreams from what I can gather are about your mom. Was she some how unsupportive in the issues you were dealing with or at worst telling you, to bad suck it up, go back to him or it was your fault. Again I know nothing about you or your past or even what reason you have C PTSD. That is jsut what i know of these kinds of dreams.

I have C PTSD, and regular PTSD as well. I have some seriously bizarre dreams. I share them with my T. The T helps me sort them out, and analyse them. It gives her a direct look at what is going on in my mind. A small glimpse of how my mind is working and changing.

It sounds like you are improving. As folks with PTSD and C PTSD we have to take every accomplishment and hold it close to us and rejoice in the small things we accomplish. It is so difficult to carry on a normal life.

Good for you for getting a T and working on this. You will not be sorry for making you a priority. Good luck to you. Continue the hard work, you are worth it.

[loveyouhun]

I have nightmare like someone is abusing me or think about the past what my Mom did to me. I'm am currently seeing a counselor at Chrysalis. That is a place for Domestic Violence. I have to go again this Thursday. The counselor doesn't know I have alter. The first time I met the counselor she told me to write down what the nightmares are about. One I don't want to tell her about my former therapist. What I have dream about so embarrassing and afraid people will think I'm crazy. I just afraid that once I talk a bout the past abuse she may come out. I'm going to try to keep her in. Do you think I should tell her about the problem with my former therapist? The counselor I'm seeing if for DV not like problem solving. Personal problem.

loveyouhun

[Big Mama]

absolutely, counselors want what is best for you. What worked then may work now, and the counselor needs to know what was helping in order to help you. Some times it takes a counselor a while to figure out what works for each person. If you already have an idea of what works then that may save time and grief. Your counselor will not be surprised that you have had a counselor before. Many people have a variety of counselors throughout out there lives.