[Shaly78]

I'm out of a place I called the cult. I mean that in the sense of negative once I found out it was a 'cult'. I can't help but to feel bad about what all happened and the grooming that was done in the name of help 'psychologically'. I'm using the word grooming because as I alluded too in the beginning things were positive meaning that they put on their Sunday best, to recruit into a smaller group under the mask of helpers. As things begin to unravel I slowly began to see how help became exploitation beyond the confines of the office, mainly the basement were small group meet a few times per month... I was meet were I was with this extra help with that came a whole lot of questions. I was exploited for who I was using these tactics and the fact that I wasn't well psychologically as a cover. Who takes advantage of the mentally ill? Good question, people who are feel they are superior, educated, ministry person, professional person's in their everyday life. As of now 2015, I was exiled from this cult rightful so because yes I finally realized and saw past the mask. I can't help but to think that my life is still control by them almost like a program, programmed to served their purpose. I feel that if I don't continue the therapies that I will forever be threatened or imitated into this manipulation. This is maddening in that is has made me into this person full of new fears and filled with paranoia that wasn't there initially. I very much want to put all of this in the past out of my mind and everything be well with my soul. My prayer, I'm healing from this. I can't possibly put into words the last two years to make you understand how much this has impacted my life traumatically. Yes, I was 'had' or exploitiated in many ways. I want to begin again start over in my own way. I'm thankful for when it was actually positive what I know now as a cult what I learned for them. I'm thankful for the subsequent therapist who listened and what I learned while in online bliss during my research. I am smart and from here on out know that that part of my life has grown and no longer need those who felt exploitation was the way to go.

I'm reading a book 'Down the Hallway' author Sherry Showalter
A young lady who has Dissociative Identity Disorder like myself (diagnoses only) she was a victim of abuse where adult use the cover of prayer meetings at home who were really cults that abuse children and adults...I think this resonated with me a lot the similarities...

I know there are similar people with similar stories that never get to share their story for fear of unbelief because most people can't fathom that evil exist in the world such as this. I just want to say I share and feel your pain and pray you trust someone enough to heal from it...

Thanks
Newday7121

[kaliope]

thank you for sharing your story. i am glad you were able to see through that situation and get out.