[Kiya]

Well... I often think "That couldn't have happened.... I don't actually have any memory of stuff - just flashbacks...." Just when I got myself believing that, I had to have a female procedure that confirmed, yes indeed, stuff did happen.
Meh.

[estrella]

Sometimes, it's hard to come to terms with the fact that something bad has happened, or may have happened but we aren't entirely sure. Even so, getting a confirmation is much like being slapped in the face with a ton of bricks, right? Denial is quite common, but whatever you're feeling, let yourself feel it. It helps you heal--albeit, slowly. I'm sorry for what has happened to you, and I hope you stay strong.

[TerriLynn]

PTSD from abuse often is expressed as flashes of memories, not the full story of a memory with a beginning, middle and end.

[Kiya]

yes, it was like a ton of brick, exactly. Like here's this life that -with the PSTD flashes and symptoms, I was trying to put back together... and BAM! Just when I was ready to think it's all nonsense. All the years of confusion and dissociation and flashbacks with no picture, just body memory, thinking I was surely crazy. I started to deny it, after 10 years of therapy. 12? I forget. All that work for nothing. Not real. and then the proof.in my face proof that I can no longer deny. Doesn't prove who, but does prove the rest. My friend was like "oh I have that too, I think, not a big deal". But it's a big deal to me. I guess in a corner of my mind I was still holding on to the possibility that.... this was all just a big mistake.

[IrisBloom]

You are a survivor. Don't let the past ruin your future.