Afraid of being sued by abuser

For those of you who speak for RAINN or blog about your history, have you ever been afraid of being sued by your former abuser? My father was sexually abusive and I find myself waiting for the day he sues me.

It's a reasonable fear as abusers notoriously blame their victims.

They would have to be pretty dumb and ballzy to try to sue you, since then it would be dragged into public court whether or not you were actually slandering them or telling the truth. It would wind up shedding a lot of light on their dirty, disgusting past and call their entire reputation into question on a public platform.

I agree with Copper. To have it dragged out publicly would be ridiculous. If he tries to get you for slander, that's one thing; but he will risk disclosing your abusive past on his part. Try to think of it like that--it's a not extreme, though I reckon I feel the same way about my abuser. Hugs.

That's definitely how I looked at it too, but then I heard Christina Enevoldsen's story were she was sued by her mother and father for writing about being an incest survivor. Her parents didn't want to be called abusers. The only reason the suit was dropped was because her father died.

I realize that being a speaker for RAINN could get one sued for defamation and writing a blog would be libel. Of course, the defense is that it's the truth and the truth sets us free, but I don't want to end up in court having to look at my abuser and prove what he did to me 30 years ago actually happened. And words of caution from Enevoldsen just make me more nervous:

I’ve heard from many survivors who have assumed they can’t be sued because they don’t name their abuser or they use a pseudonym to write their story. Another misconception is that writing your own story as a fictional story will guard you from a lawsuit. However, those won’t necessarily protect you.

It just feels like the lack of control just goes on and on.

Well check this out: Libel Vs Slander - Defamation | Laws.com

Basically if your abuser tries to sue you, they will need prove that you were making crap up in order to damage their reputation.