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Jun 23, 2007 at 07:11 PM
#1
My mother is really sick and she is old. She is crying because she would like to see me.
I don't want to go see her but I will go. I don't forgive her but yet I do. I have until monday to block my past, to block my hurt, to forget the rejection, the imulations, the guiltiness, the uncaring. I have until monday to focus on my present, stay in my present. I have until monday to bring forward a love that a daughter should have towards her mother. Monday I will go visit an old sick lady. |
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Location: chicago IL
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Jun 23, 2007 at 08:00 PM
#2
i wish you the best of luck. but it is ok to say what needs to be said. you might regret it later. you have until monday to make a choice that is right for you.
i hope all goes well for you. __________________ A day to remember is the day I forget. A day to forget is the day I remember. |
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Jun 23, 2007 at 08:03 PM
#3
(((((((((((((((((time0)))))))))))))))))))))))
OH hon, you are putting way too much stress on yourself right now. Do those things really need to be fixed before you see your mother? IMO, no, they don't need to be fixed. You can't do that in 2 days hon (although wouldn't it be great if we all could???) Do only what you can comfortably do. You feel what you feel and there is nothing wrong with how you feel. Don't put the added pressure on yourself to make yourself feel something you don't. Sending you thoughts of strength and peace so you can get through this. You are in my prayers! Hugssss J |
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Elder
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Jun 23, 2007 at 08:50 PM
#4
I did it on Aug 28, 2001. My mother called me at work and advised the oncologist said the radiation hadn't worked and she had a month to live. She asked if I could come down there (800 miles away) to spend her final days with her. I didn't even hesitate to say yes. I took an unpaid leave of absence, my husband watched my then 3 & 5 year old children and I flew down. I couldn't understand why she wanted ME there. She had 2 other children that she was much "nicer" to. Why me??? And why did I say yes. I felt honored to have her ask me. I took care of her 24/7 with love and compassion. I never once thought of the "old" days as I was tending to her needs. Several days before her death while she was still lucid she said "Dee Dee I am so sorry for everything". I told her it was ok, not to worry about, and tried to keep her comfortable for 3 more days. Hard as the dickens? You bet. Did I forgive her? Probably not. But she needed ME, and I was happy to help.
Take care, Dee __________________ Parce que maman l'a dit 
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Jun 23, 2007 at 09:18 PM
#5
(((((((((time))))))) i know this must be hard. be good to yourself.
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Jun 23, 2007 at 09:36 PM
#6
I'm so sorry, I can really sympathise with you. My mother had cancer last year and I went through a whole range of emotions. The thought of having to take care of her in a physical sense made me feel sick, but not caring for her made me feel extreme guilt. She has recovered for now, at least. Its very complicated when there is a complex history. Just do what feels right for you -only you can decide. I really feel for you...Take care. x
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Jun 24, 2007 at 07:19 AM
#7
Thank you!
I think I have forgiving her for when I was a child, a teenager and so on because a while ago, I have been her caregiver for 10 years. Then I stopped because she did something terrible to me. This "something" is not yet healed and will probably be open again when I will come face to face witth my sibblings as they are also involved in this %#@&#!. But I don't think I will see one of them monday, just my mother. Again thank you. It means so much to me that you do care. |
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Jun 24, 2007 at 12:59 PM
#8
Time0-
 I hope for you, that it is a good sign your mother wants to see you. I hope I say this right....... I don't believe a daughter is expected to love her mother anymore than is healthy for the daughter to do. Do what you feel you can to stay "balanced"-- in the best state of mind that is possible for the moment. Thinking of you-- mandy |
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Jun 24, 2007 at 10:19 PM
#9
Thank you sweetie!
((((((((((Mandy)))))))))) |
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Jun 25, 2007 at 10:39 AM
#10
I am suppose to go today but I am pushing away this visit until tomorrow.
Dam me! I am getting angry at myself for not doing what a daughter should do. Dam Dam me! |
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Jun 26, 2007 at 07:58 PM
#11
I went to visit my mother today because my sister have called me saying that our mother was very sick and she was crying to see me. I went to visit my mother because my brother came where I work to tell me my mother would die soon and she wanted so much to see me.
What I saw when I arrived to my mother's place was a lady of 90 years old watching a comedy on tv, rocking herself in her rocking chair and eating fruits. Sick? No. My mother is not sick. She is old. She surely can go run a marathon but she is as healty as a woman of 90 can be. She still can take care of herself ( take a bath on her own ect) she goes shopping, take care of her own finances, has all her mind, and she is still very much pretty for her age. She take care of herself very good. Lies. All lies. Why? Thank you all for your support. Thank you! |
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Jun 26, 2007 at 09:59 PM
#12
((( time0 )))
Lies are so hard to understand and so hurtful. Just try to remember you are a better person than they are.
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Jun 27, 2007 at 10:10 AM
#13
Thank you (((((((((Petunia)))))))))))
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