[caseygirl]

Some mothers show a lot of love and make their children feel special, other mothers don't. Narcissistic mothers show little empathy, constantly criticize, giving the child wrong messages of feeling worthless, not validating or believing them etc.

You go to your mother for love and protection, at least, that's what I did and just never received anything but rants, rages, criticism and due to that I would dissociate constantly. This is what I wished for:

https://cherished79.wordpress.com/?s=mom+i+wish

[Fuzzybear]

[Ocean Swimmer]

My mom dropped me off at my grandparents. Then I worked and got out of school and the house at 16.
Unloved yes.
Abused by my Pdoc for over 7years.
I understand.

Well let me just say, "You look cute in those clothes, Caseygirl." It's not quite the same as having your mom say it, I know.

The little girl-you had immeasurable worth even if your mother was incapable of recognizing it. You still do.

[caseygirl]

Originally Posted by Onward

Well let me just say, "You look cute in those clothes, Caseygirl." It's not quite the same as having your mom say it, I know.

The little girl-you had immeasurable worth even if your mother was incapable of recognizing it. You still do.

Thank you so much for those kind words, all my mother could come up with is that I looked fat and harped on that for decades. Her favorite when I was a teen was "if you don't lose weight, you will never get married". Thanks mom for making me feel like a worthless piece of crap.

Incidentally, I've been married now for 37 years!

[Cat_Lover_58]

Gosh, there's SO much I wished my mother had said and done differently. At this time in my life, I'm trying to focus on myself. I'm NOT defined by my mother. I'm not much like her at all. Thankfully!

[caseygirl]

Originally Posted by Cat_Lover_58

Gosh, there's SO much I wished my mother had said and done differently. At this time in my life, I'm trying to focus on myself. I'm NOT defined by my mother. I'm not much like her at all. Thankfully!

I'm finding that dissociation is entering the picture in therapy due to this emotional abuse by my mother. I had a session a few weeks ago where we spent mostly talking about her abuse, and I went into "outer space" so often that my therapist kept bringing me back. It was almost bad transference, because, at the end of the session, I hated her and felt like she was my mother.

I see her this week to discuss all of this. Dissociation is a comforting thing yet very frightening at the same time, and now I realize that I did this often when I was a child to zone out from my mother's yelling and rants.