[shakespeare47]

Have any of you ever experienced an abuser demanding or even "innocently" asking for an explanation of why you won't communicate with them?

I've gotten away from some mentally abusive people, and then had the experience of them trying to get back into my life.

I know I don't have to give them an explanation, but even to be asked innocently, "why not?" feels like more abuse. As far as I'm concerned, in this case, it's gaslighting.... and another attempt at DARVO.

[mle1115]

Originally Posted by shakespeare47

Have any of you ever experienced an abuser demanding or even "innocently" asking for an explanation of why you won't communicate with them?

I've gotten away from some mentally abusive people, and then had the experience of them trying to get back into my life.

I know I don't have to give them an explanation, but even to be asked innocently, "why not?" feels like more abuse. As far as I'm concerned, in this case, it's gaslighting.... and another attempt at DARVO.

I never gave my narc ex the opportunity because I knew I would feel exactly the same way you just described. Him coming back into my life would feel like more abuse and a failure on my part. Unless you have to talk to these people for work or your children are involved, I suggest you block these abusive people on your phone and through social media if you haven't already. It will give you peace of mind and allow you to truly put the abuse behind you. It was difficult, but I felt immediately lighter once I finally did it. You've already done the hardest part....setting boundaries! Just one little step further. :-)

"Hello? Helloooo?? Dang, must be something wrong with this line." *click*

Provide no recognition, let alone an explanation.

Hugs!