[fijiisland]

When my father punched me in the face I feel as if I deserve it. I feel as if I am so completely horrible that I am not surprised I am being hit.

Because I live with him and he pays all the bills (I don't even pay rent) it is almost like he has a right to punch me. And my kids got to watch it.

My kids also treat me like crap and hate me. My ex husband also punched me and I felt as if I deserved that too. I did do bad things in my life and still do.

So because I live rent free with father I feel as if he can treat me anyway he wants to.

there is no one I can talk to about this. If I start talking, then people will say well you should move out and the way you act, he should hit you.

I am so lonely and crying inside all the time. I feel as if I am not a real person, I am different and I don't get to live like others do. I am worthless and nobody. I have no friends left and I don't talk to any relatives. but I do have some married men that I talk to. smh

[BrazenApogee]

I feel worthless alot. I fight it the best I can, but some days it gets me. I've done well creating a safe life. I live alone and no one hurts me anymore.

Do you have safe place to go?

[TRIP]

A woman doesn't deserve to be punched by a man

[12AM]

When we have been abused for so long, we tend to lost our logical mind. We “help” our abuser to justify their abusive behavior by thinking that we deserve the pain, that we are worthless. And this, is a TOTAL lie. There is nothing wrong with being different, even the term “different” is absurd. Who can guarantee that we are not normal and some other people are normal? No one. You said you did bad things in past, well, who didn’t? As the fact that you are still doing bad things right now, don’t be so hard on yourself. Getting better is a hard work, it takes time and effort. First thing I suggest you to do is trying to love yourself. If you don’t have friends in real life who can help you to feel better about yourself, find some friends here. A help from a professional is needed, can you try to get some? Everyone needs help every once in a while, everyone deserves to be loved, and you are not excluded.